I’m in Satan’s cross hairs.
Do you ever feel like that? That
is where I feel like I am living.
I haven’t written a ministry letter for 3 years and I really
want this year to be different – I can’t tell you how often I have started this
letter.
I have spent my time helping on campus Christian Clubs
(since 2007), Baccalaureate (since 1999) and the Pearland Youth Ministry
Alliance (since 1991) – Just as a reminder of what I have been doing in
Pearland.
2009 was a year where everything was looking up. Club ministry was really coming together. People were coming to help. We were becoming a team: the vision (and the
task) was becoming clearer.
2010 was the pivotal year.
At the very end of the year, the club team was destroyed by a divisive
partner. Baccalaureate and the Pearland
Youth Ministry Alliance were taken away by a divisive youth pastor. Officially, my work with on Campus Christian
Clubs was taken away from me as well.
2011 was the healing and affirming year. After the move by youth pastors to put me out
of the school club program, I had two simple goals: Finish the school year helping out one club
and move out of Pearland to another community.
By April, I realized that I was doing more clubs and working with more
students than I had before clubs were taken away from me. Graciously, someone pointed out that God will
prosper you in what He has called you to do – I couldn’t have figured this out. My calling was affirmed. I did not attend Baccalaureate 2011 – for the
first time since 1994, but I was informed that it was poorly done and poorly
attended – the lowest attendance ever.
This was both a balm to my ego, but it was also an assault to my
community spirit – how could they ruin such a brilliant opportunity to
influence students to godliness?
The doors to the other community closed: Unexpectedly and unexplainably, leaving me to
either continue ministry in Pearland or get another job. I chose to go thru the doors God was opening.
By November, something was taking place in me. Words were falling out of my mouth that were
not mine. The words and insights were
brilliant. I started to realize that
while I was the point person for unity and working together in my community, it
was unity and working together that was Satan’s target, not me. As wounded as I was, my community and
students were more hurt in this. I
grieved for my community, for the students I so loved. I moved from licking my own wounds to a new
healing.
I started to view what I was doing differently. Rather than a simple wife and mother, doing
what she could, I saw myself as uniquely called, uniquely trained, uniquely
designed for my community, for clubs for students, for such a time as
this. Rather than just a good thing, I
started to see myself as engaged in strategic warfare for a generation. This shift in image is crucial. A critical person in a critical position
who was called by God to bring people and churches together to reach students
for Christ.
Who? me?
By 2012, I was still finding and helping more clubs. Clubs were growing and multiplying. Student leaders were growing in their ability
to lead.
I attended Baccalaureate 2012. Attendance was even lower – less than 50
people. I was distraught to see
this God opportunity becoming less than it's potential and not impacting students the way I knew was possible.
On a personal note, I was facing more and more personal
challenges. Overwhelming financial
difficulties, martial issues, overwhelming mental health and behavioral issues
with a child, personal depression and suicidal thoughts, home and personal
issues – the list made me feeling like I was battling on all fronts.
Summer 2012, I was ready to quit. It was too hard. The issues were overwhelming. I could not work another year for annual
salary of $5000. I began looking for a
job. I even interviewed. At this point, I would say I was depressed
and definitely in some kind of spiritual battle, as I was vacillating. When I looked at me and looked at what I was
doing, I reminded myself of James 1: 6: 6 . . . because the
one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
That was me – Like a wave of the sea –
ready to quit one day, ready to enroll in graduate school the next, ready to
stand up and fight the next. I could see
what I was doing, but I couldn’t stop it.
I couldn’t see what God wanted me to do, so I couldn’t pick His
direction. I was willing, but completely
unable.
When the school year is starting, I decide
I’m going to quit a troublesome club and I will help other clubs until I can
find other employment. I’m still
determined to solve my financial problems in my way. Do you see it? I’m going to leave my true calling, my true purpose: Satan nearly has me beaten down.
I’m in Satan’s Cross hairs and he is trying
by any means to take me down. Because: I
am “A critical person in a
critical position who was called by God to bring people and churches together
to reach students for Christ.”
Will you pray for me?
I know who I am and I know what God has called me to. Satan is aiming to take me and my family down
by any means possible.
Will you consider giving?
It will take as a little as 100 people giving $25/month or $300/year –
to keep me in this critical position?
Will you be one of my 100? Will
you be 2?
At this point, I am helping with 6 clubs about 600 students
a week. I have my finger in the
Baccalaureate pot, hopeful to help bring it to its potential and impact
students. I have started a “Women in
Youth Ministry Network”. I see all kinds
of opportunities to connect students with Christ and the Church, to help
connect workers with the harvest. After
several difficult years, my vision has returned. I know who I am.
9 for a wide door [b]for
effective service has opened to me, and there are many adversaries. I
Cor. 16:9
Please.
Pray for me. Join me.
Dottie
Financial gifts can be mailing to:
Cross in the City
1320 Scott St.
Pasadena, Tx 77506
