Dean and I are considering joining a church. As always, my husband, Dean, fits in beautifully. As always has been, I, of course, do not fit. Somehow, as a woman, I was suppose to get spiritual gifts in the cooking and entertaining venue. Secretarial gifts would have been acceptable. If I were picking spiritual gifts, I would have pick these appropriate womanly gifts.
I get pastoral, administrative, shepherding, leadership gifts. The gifts no church ever wants in a woman, unless she wants to do women's or children's ministry. And of course, I have no interest in those areas. I feel like I don't quite fit.
Remember the joke: The gift no one wants: Celibacy? I've found another gift no woman wants.
So, I have spent years trying to bake cookies. I hate baking cookies. I want:
- to direct the cookie bakers to work together.
- to help the cookie bakers find better ingredients and cookie baking methods.
- to help the cookie bakers find a ministry that gives them an opportunity to help reach students for Christ.
- to encourage the cookie bakers to explore their gifts to the fullest and rejoice in the Giver of the gifts
- to start a cookie bakers support group and fellowship.
- to eat cookies and encourage the gift of cookie baking!
- to help compile recipes and resource the cookie bakers.
A couple things recently made the light come on. It's funny how God opens our eyes, isn't it? When I was searching for a job last August, the jobs I kept getting directed to were Executive Director type jobs. Huh? What was with that?
Then, the next thing, was the latest spiritual gift test I took. Administration - the gift of connecting people was at the top, but leadership, pastor, shepherding: all close behind. At this point, I wasn't surprised.
Then, the realizing that Spiritual gifts are to help the Church. The Body accomplish God's work on earth.
Then, I started asking myself the hard questions: Why was I denying my gifts? Why had I spent years trying to bake cookies? Why, when I tried to use my gifts, I got my hands slapped?
The sad thing is that I responded to what the church applauded. I watch as little boys were applauded when they quoted a verse and were told they were going to be a preacher some day.
When I quoted Psalm 119, I was told nice job - how are those cookies coming? I got more accolades for serving burnt cookies . . .
At this point in my life, I know whose applause I treasure. I know whose applause I seek. I know my creator and He is good. Somehow, in all the confusion, I floundered thru and I managed to use the gifts God gave me for the good of the Church. But, unfortunately for the Church, my gifts are seriously underdeveloped because my gifts have been unappreciated and denied for so long.
But my next issues is this: What about the next girl who gets the gifts of leadership and pastor? Will she be told to bake cookies?
