Worthless! NOT!

  I have been through several traumas with the "church" and from the last one, I am still finding shrapnel.  I am often surprised how deep the wound is and then I am surprised I am surprised!
  My last wounding: I was called to a meeting with some pastors and I was told that they were speaking on behalf of the churches of Pearland.  I was told that they would be taking over everything I was doing in Pearland:  Baccalaureate, See you at the Pole, the Pearland Youth Ministry Alliance, On campus Christian Clubs Support.  (Most of what I worked on has been abandoned.  Also, to be fair, I have been told by many pastors:  Those guys didn't speak for me.)  
  Fast forward.  I have a teacher/Club sponsor texting me.  I am begging her to let me drive an hour to meet with her.  I am dying to help her with her club!  It will be so exciting to brainstorm with her!  I love helping Club Sponsors! 
  She is hesitant.  I want to beg, but I don't.  And then I realize I have a wound.  This past year has left me feeling worthless.  Like I have nothing to contribute to ministry and I want to contribute, but I'm not welcome.  This year has been hard, but I realize it goes deeper.  I realize, when I was told, on behalf of the churches of Pearland to give my work BACK to the church, I was sent a dark message:  You aren't part of the church and we don't want your work.
  So begins my next chapter of affirming self talk:  Dottie, you are a vital part of the Church.  God gave you the gifts you have and He is never finished with you!