I tie dyed my Baccalaureate t-shirt and it changed the way I saw everything!

It is funny how the smallest things cause you to see things differently.

Most Summers, my family plans a week at the Beach. We play at the beach and do various projects – which usually include tie dying or making some kind of memorable t-shirt. I took a Baccalaureate t-shirt. I think I wrote “Beach Week 2011” on one sleeve and I drew a fish front and center under the neck.
I think this was the start of something for me. By late October or early November, the transformation in the way I view the events of the past year was complete. Gone was the view that I was the target or the victim. Replacing that was the view that Unity and Community was the target. Gone was the view that the power hungry youth pastor was the enemy. The Youth Pastor was used by the real enemy – and how many of us have been used by the real enemy? I can acknowledge that it is wrong, but I can’t deny that I have been there and I have been used before.
I did have to wonder about a group of pastors that gather and gossip and don’t look for truth. I did have wonder about the attack from pastors on Unity and Community, but it wasn’t about me. Sadly, it is about how sick my community is. How sick the churches are?
I did wonder what kind of disease it is when the body attacks the body and what is the cure for that? But once again, it is not about me. I was only the lone voice for unity, community and working together, so I was the lightening rod.
There aren’t words to describe the joy that started overcoming me when this transformation was nearly complete. I can still speak of the frustration regarding the events of the past year, but the anger is gone. It has been replaced by a Godly sorrow that grieves for the church in my community. A church that attacks itself and doesn’t realize it is attack itself.
When my husband and I talk about the meeting or the events, he becomes so angry. I become grieved. I grieve for a group who sacrificed willing workings in the name of being in charge. I grieve for students who lost a great Baccalaureate service. I grieve for pastors who gave up the good they had because their understanding of community is so small.

NNYM San Diego Communities 4 Hope

I have been asked to write about my trip to San Diego. I just returned yesterday, so this is all very fresh.

The trip was very positive and I felt so blessed to be there.

The flight was great there, although I still have trouble sitting for an extensive time in a place so small that it is even difficult to reach in my pocket to get my chapstick!

Lunch with Doug Clark was a treat. Doug is the Director of Field Ministries for NNYM (National Network of Youth Ministries) and he works with Network coordinators from all over the US. He is so good and personable, he even asked me about my former boss and co-worker, John Butler. There are about 658 networks across the USA and I would guess that Doug knows most of us network leaders. Lunch with Doug was a treat on so many levels. First the opportunity to visit with him is a treat. Then the opportunity to eat lunch with another youth ministry professional is a treat. (Many youth ministers in this area will not sit down and eat a meal with me because of my gender.) So, when someone of that caliber (and closer to my age!) will, it is a treat and blessing and I recognize it as such! Doug listened to my story of what has happened to me in Pearland and was almost speechless. He affirmed my value in ministry: The Great Commission is too important to eliminate ½ the work force! He bought my lunch and he treated me as a person of respect who had something to contribute.

Doug has suggested that I write up my story for the Communities 4 Hope facebook page. It is a closed group and see what kind of suggestions I get. He thinks it will be a valuable case study.

After lunch, Doug and I picked up Keith Krueger from the Airport, Keith is the Regional Coordinator for the Great Lakes Area from Cincinnati. Once again, a Godly brother and ministry partner who treated me with respect, dignity and appreciation. The conversation with Doug, Keith and I was animated, professional, intriguing, thoughtful, challenging – as most of my interactions with these guys were. There was always something to share and something to learn or reflect on.

Working with the Communities 4 Hope group was a joy. They are Godly men from all over the USA, all involved with networking, some for NNYM and some were from YFC and other para-church groups. I was the only woman. The lines for the ladies room were non exsistent. However, Wednesday, the local Moms in Prayer group was meeting in the room across the hall. Their food looked really good. I figured I was the only one who could sneak in and check it out, maybe sample it without causing any notice!

I actively participated in all the conversations, especially once I felt accepted and welcomed. My contribution was small, but I did notice that several people picked up on it. Communities 4 Hope is NNYM's term for a particular kind of network that involves not only youth pastors and pastors, but other key leaders from the community: teachers, probation officers, business leaders, ministry leaders, volunteers and students. This network is interested in the spiritual welfare of the youth, particularly in the schools.

There was a discussion about whether C4H groups were a different kind of network. I came up the phrase: Continuum of Networks – the idea that C4H groups were not a different kind of Network, but a different place on the network continuum. It is not a huge thing, however, I did notice that several people (including Doug Clark) started using that wording and concept after I threw it out there. I was encourage by that and I hope that you can read between the lines that this simple contribution and seeing it embraced, encouraged me to understand, I do have something to contribute!

After a full day of working on C4H Wednesday, Kevin Boer took Jim Snead, Stan Elder and myself to eat and See San Diego. It was a fun time that concluded with a meal at an outdoor Mexican café. It was a fun time of fellowship. A big thank you to Kevin.

Thursday morning was a time of worship and prayer with NNYM's ministry Council. I took the only empty seat I saw and sat with 2 dear brothers. Because of what I want to share, I want them to be anonymous. We sang and then were challenge to pray together or separately over various issues. It was well done. We were reminded to give thanks in everything and Diana Brask(Rural Affinity Network coordinator) ask us to give thanks for a hard situation. My plan was to give thanks for the division in youth ministry in Pearland, however the young man before me shared that he would have to be thankful for this season with his wife. He went on to explain that his wife had been diagnosis bipolar about 6 months ago. He explained that when he got there, he spoke to his wife and realized she was having a manic episode. From 6 states away, he had arranged for the care of his 3 children (9, 2 and 1) and arranged for a friend to take his wife to the hospital. After hearing that, I gave thanks for Taylor, my hostile, bipolar step daughter. I praise him for sharing and reminded him of how difficult it is to talk about mental health issues. At the break, he and I talked further. It was one of those God moments – where you knew – exactly why you were there. I was thankful to be able to minister to him, cry with him, hold his hand and encouraging him: that God would be able to use everything he was learning and going thru. I reminded him that God often has us take extensive training in areas we would never choose.

You might relook at my wording: I took the only empty seat I saw. Do you think God "blinded me" so I only saw what HE wanted me to see to get me where HE wanted me to be?

The next session was listening to Daryl Nuss, the new Executive Director/CEO communicate the vision and the current assessment of NNYM. Probably mainly for the Ministry Council, but the C4H team was invited. Very good, very insightful. Very challenging.

At noon, his wife, Donna Nuss, drove me to the airport. We had a delightful time of sharing in the car.

I think it is also important to communicate that I was really beaten down before I took this trip. I would love to say that I was trusting God to direct me thru this trip. I am afraid it was almost more of an ultimatum: Either direct me or I'm out. I cannot continue to be the Pearland personal whipping boy for Satan for $2.89 an hour! It is too painful to me and my family for me to sacrifice so much for so little - both in terms of monetary and missional gains.

I hate to even mention the QUIT or DONE words, but I think I was there, at the brink. I don't think I realized how bad off I was, until I started seeing hope and direction and then I started randomly crying like a baby off and on, anytime, I reflect on where I had been and where I am going.. Just to think, God was willing to pick me up, restore and put me back on track.

Obviously, God met me there. I feel affirmed as a professional youth worker. I have several things I think I can try in Pearland. I also like to try starting some youth ministry networks in maybe in the Alvin, Manvel, Sagemont or Angleton areas. Let's see what God opens up. Since HE has called me, HE will surely guide me.

The expenses for this trip were mostly covered. If God moves to you give, you can either get an envelope from me or mail your check to Cross in the City, 320 Scott st., Pasadena, TX 77506

Going to San Diego!

On September 1, I was invited to be on a team with National Network of Youth Ministries to develop a national program called Communities 4 Hope. It is a program about getting churches and people to work together to help their communities and their youth.
Me? I’m still amazed. I am one of 54 people who have been part of this national research and development team. I’m still amazed and honored to serve in this way.
Len Evans, the NNYM Texas- New Mexico district coordinator invited me to be on this team. Two days ago, I realized that I was on this team due to my long time work with Baccalaureate. That I no longer do in Pearland. But I still do on campus Christian clubs and other community projects.
I am so excited. Doug Clark, the NNYM Director of Field Ministries, is picking me up at the airport and we are going to lunch together. I will have to keep myself from asking him to autograph my napkin. Or my shirt. Or my arm. Or my Bible.
Pray for me, okay. I want to help how I am able to help and learn what I need to learn. I know that there are things I have learned over the last 20 years, doing community and school ministry in Pearland that could be helpful to this national endeavor.
I am so honored by this invitation. Should I say it again: I am honored beyond words to be asked to work with this team at this time in my life. I am excited for me. But I am also so excited about what I can bring back to the Pearland community and schools.
Pray for me, okay.
Dottie

Baccalaureate: The final post

If you have been following my blog, you know that for the past 12 years, I have chaired the Baccalaureate Committee. This year, in December, I was called to meeting with 2 pastors, a youth pastor and several others who had issues with me. I didn't know the agenda of the meeting: I just knew that everyone who had issues with me were going to be together in one room – against me.

The bottom line was that they wanted Baccalaureate. They never talked to me or asked me any questions. I was discussed, but I was never included the discussions: they were all behind my back. I think that is called gossip.

Baccalaureate is this Sunday. There are no signs at the schools. There have been no announcements, nothing on the marquees. There are 61 likes on the facebook page for both schools. (Last year at this time, we had 69 for PHS and 44 for DHS.)

Over my 12 years as Baccalaureate chairperson, I had scores of files. Lots of data. For instance, I know which church was the largest donor to Baccalaureate and I know their pastor was not invited to the meeting, did not approve of the decision or how it was handled. But of course, this pastor participated in Baccalaureate: His church gave. He had a committee member. His church prayed for Baccalaureate. His church hosted a table every year.

I know that the pastors who led in this decision: Their churches ranked 6^th and 19^th (out of 22) in Baccalaureate giving. I know that 6^th was only 6^th because of a large gift last year: that single gift moved them from 12^th to 6^th and more than doubled their previous Baccalaureate giving. Neither church had been part of the Baccalaureate committee. 19 had never even hosted a table. And, of course, the #1 donor to Baccalaureate wasn't even invited to the meeting.

For 12 years, Baccalaureate was my baby – I treasured it, protected it, promoted, nurtured it and kept it alive and going forward. When it was threaten, I responded. When people talked about canceling it, I promoted it. I thought it was the most under used way to impact a graduating class. My children joke: My first word was Baccalaureate – what was yours? We lived Baccalaureate at my house.

Baccalaureate is Sunday. I have been advised not to go. The thought is that I have been in charge and responsible for so many years that people will still think I am responsible.

It is always difficult to be fired. It is more difficult when you did an excellent job and worked for free. Unless something happens, this will probably be my last post on Baccalaureate. I will focus on my healing.

What if God is protecting me?

If you follow this blog at all, you know that I have been thru some terrible shunning and exclusion at the hands of one particular youth pastor – let's call him Skippy. That what my boss calls him. . .

I had a turning point on Saturday morning. I was concerned about my talk to Garden Road – I was speaking for their Woman's Tea that day at 11:30 am. I was thinking about how terrible and underhanded that Skippy was being to me. I always have to juggle what I am going to say and not say. I'm thinking about how angry I am that the guys who are my friends have not stood up to Skippy for what is right. In that small still voice, God pointed out that if Skippy had included me, because my priority is community and working together, I would be there, trying my best to work together. He pointed out that I have reason to believe that Skippy might have some serious mental/ego issues, but that I would still be there, part of the group, trying to work together. I acknowledged that God was totally right. Then, He asked me a question: What if I'm protecting you?

All the sudden, I could see it. I could see that I would be trying my best to work in a horrible situation and I became so thankful that God is protecting me. I can't even tell you. I'm rejoicing. God is protecting me!

1984: An unsent Ministry Letter from April 2008

While clearing out files, I found this and I thought it was so good, I decided to post it.

Dear Friends,

1984.

I know it is the title of a book, but it is also the year I did the same thing I'm doing now. Not changing jobs, but changing the organization I serve under. On January 1, 1984, I transferred from Camp Peniel to Youth for Christ. On April 1, 2008, I transfer from Youth for Christ to Cross in the City.

On January 18, 1981, I spent my first Sunday at the Harris County Youth Village. I was an intern student from University of Houston – Majoring in Human Development and family studies. My atheistic professor had recommended I do my internship with a "religious organization."

During April 1981, I went on staff of Camp Peniel as the part time girls' Chaplain at the Harris County Youth Village. The Youth Village was a long term placement of the Harris County Juvenile Probation Department.

During the years from 1981 until December 31, 1983, I graduated from U of H, married Mark Cooper and served as the Girls' Chaplain at the Youth Village. I looked so young and I was so confused about my role, I was often mistaken for a resident. I remember that one staff yelled at me, saying "Did you do your job?" I answered "I sure hope so."

My salary was whatever came in that month, which was suppose to average to about $600 a month.

On January 1, 1984, I joined the Staff of Youth for Christ. Because Youth for Christ was serving delinquents at the Harris County Juvenile Detention Center, I became the Protestant Girls' Chaplain at the Juvenile Detention Center, while continuing as the Girls' Chaplain at the Harris County Youth Village.

My salary was $1050 per month.

During this Chapter, I taught Sunday School at the Youth Village, I lead discussion groups at the Detention Center. I lead singing at the Youth Village and I lead the Sunday afternoon Chapel Services at the Detention Center.

I wrote Bible story plays for the students at the Youth Village – Rahab and Jonah and I directed the students in the plays.

I started visiting girls who were adjudicated and put the county jail. One time, I showed my driver's license and the guard's face clouded. He came out from the booth and said "Come with me." Not a good thing for a visiting Chaplain. We went in an office and spoke to another person. "Let us clear this up. There is a warrant for your arrest." Somehow, they cleared it up and I got my driver's license back.

On March 12, 1987 my first child, a daughter, Jessa was born. Jessa changed my life. I couldn't take her to the jail! But I could take her to the Youth Village and the Detention Center. Sometimes, Mark and I would meet at a store on his way home from work and I would give him Jessa and go back to work.

During the time after Jessa's birth, we started doing Vacation Bible School in institutions with juvenile delinquents. I would write curriculum for various TBS – for Take a Bold Step. We – staff and volunteers would spend a week showing Christian Music Videos and doing crafts and teaching Bible stories to gang kids. It was amazing, watching these kids from various gangs coloring and enjoying popsicles.

During the closing of the YFC office, I had 6 boxes that I had to go thru. Those boxes were like time capsules. I would open them and find all my CADAC – Certified Drug and Alcohol abuse Counselor paper work. I did all the classes, but I didn't finish the practicum. I would find a copy of the Teen Mom's hand book and a paper chain – remember Jessa was my traveling buddy, so she would amusing herself at the office. A ream of fluorescent paper and Jessa's paper doll cut outs. And letters from my early Youth Village girls. Girls who must be in their late 30's and early 40's.

As I go thru the boxes, I start to wonder: how many kids' lives has God used me to touch? It's impossible to know, but I wonder . . . 50 a year for '81 – '83 and 100 a year for '84 – '95. No wonder those years are a blur. 1050?

On September 14, 1990, I received a phone call from a Pearland High School Senior, Brandon Russell. It was a life changing phone call for me, although I didn't know it at the time. Brandon was looking for someone else, but he got me. Brandon was concerned because even though his school just had 300+ students show up for the first ever See you at the Pole, the only Christian Club they had was FCA. And he thought they should have a Christian Club – if they had that many show up for See you at the Pole.

I lived in Alvin – a town near by Pearland. I offered to meet with him and help him. After years of working with juvenile delinquents, I now was working with National Honor Society students who wanted to see their campus on fire for Christ. I spent many of these years feeling like I had one foot on either side of the tracks.

From 1990 until 2004, that program grew from a low of 3 kids to almost 500 kids a week on 2 campuses. I always encourage kids to make the phone call. Who knows what God will bring out of that phone call?

On June 16, 1995, I gave birth to my second child – Allie Jean Cooper. At that point, I stopped doing the Sunday Morning services at the Harris County Youth Village. For over 14 years, my Sunday mornings had been spent doing church with the juvenile delinquents – not exactly a traditional Sunday morning experience.

In August of 2000, John Butler, my supervisor and mentor, received a letter from Harris County Juvenile Probation Department terminating our services. John ask some questions and got us and additional 3 weeks, but still that final Sunday and Monday, I walked thru the units, openly weeping. I was so distraught. After nearly 20 years of playing the guitar for those kids, I have never picked up the guitar again. I guess it is my silent protest.

Mark was also sent home from his job during this time due to a diagnosis of cardiomyopathy. In May of 2001, he was terminated.

In August 2001, I found out my life insurance on Mark was being canceled. Youth for Christ continued to bill us for the insurance, but it had been gone since 1998. Mark was now uninsurable due to his heart condition. (They eventually reinstated his life insurance, but at a lower amount than I had been paying for.)

Mark died December 2, 2002, leaving me with 2 daughters, ages 15 and 7.

Pizza@Lunch was closed down in October 2004. It took until March 2005 to get a final decision.

I married William Dean Hinesley on 7/16/05 and gained a new husband and a 4 year old step daughter, Taylor.

And that brings me to today. When God made it clear I was to continue in Pearland, where my contacts and connections were, I made plans to restart the Pearland Youth Ministry Alliance. In the fall of 2006, when I discovered there wasn't but one Christian Club in the Pearland middle, junior highs and High School, I started asking things like how can we make Pearland "Christian Club Friendly." What can we do to support any Christian Club that starts? What can we do to insure that those clubs continue and don't die out? How can those clubs be connected to the local churches?

So, today, I work with Christian Club Teachers. I am part of a team that supplies Snacks to any Christian Club – as often as possible. I connect the clubs to the community by asking local youth pastors to speak at the clubs. I research and discover available Club materials. If need be, I write materials for Christian Clubs. I plan events to bring the clubs together. Sometimes, I speak.

I am often heard saying "I don't know anyone who has ever done this before." Maybe there is someone some place . . . I would love to meet them and exchange ideas.

I still need people. People who will collect and deliver snacks. I still need people who will help with some fundraisers. My salary is currently about $450 a month.

 

 

Baccalaureate: Closing the Doors

I am bringing closure to my Baccalaureate Chapter. The letters went out last week as well as all the certificates of appreciation. What follows is the letter I sent out and the 5 people I chose to honor with Certificates of Appreciation. I have chosen to post the Cross in the City letter as a sample. The letters were personalized to the giving churches.

April 28, 2011

Dear Cross in the City,

Thank you for your support of Pearland's Baccalaureate Services from 1999 to 2010. It has been privilege to be the Baccalaureate Chairperson. Over the 12 years, your organization contributed $1150 to Baccalaureate. Thank you for allowing your staff to serve as the Committee Chair person, a gift that over the years in uncompensated time was equivalent to over $100,000!

During my tenure as Baccalaureate Chair, the Baccalaureate Leadership Committee took Pearland's Baccalaureate to a new level. Our Baccalaureate Services were the best in the area: I know, I loved to do field trips to other school's baccalaureate services. On February 19, the former Baccalaureate Committee got together one last time and we celebrated the work God allowed us to do and this included the following:

We did 13 (2 in 2010) great Baccalaureate services that impacted the lives and families of about 1000+ students. (Our lowest attendance was 65 (2009) and our highest was 143.)

We came up with a committee structure that allow for all churches to be represented.

We did a unique service for each graduating class, searching for unique students that had gifts that we could utilize in the Baccalaureate service. Each year we fine tuned the service adding power point, worship, student testimonies, student led prayer, a prayer team.

We added a reception in 2000 and gifts to the graduates in 2002. We added the gift t-shirts in 2004 and the logo in 2003

We worked with anyone who wanted to help with Baccalaureate.

Regretfully, I am no longer responsible or involved in Pearland's Baccalaureates in any way. In many ways, I'm sorry to see this door closed. It has been a privilege to serve this way: it has been the source of much growth and many challenges.

Thank you for your continued support.

Dottie Cooper Hinesley

Because this is the end of some long term working relationships that revolved around Baccalaureate, I have considered my 12 years of service leadership and I have chosen people to present with Certificates of Appreciation for their Service to Baccalaureate.

Vicki Frame of Garden Road Baptist Church. Vicki coordinated the reception starting with the 2000 Baccalaureate service and she joined the Baccalaureate Leadership Committee reluctantly. She did an outstanding job on the reception and became an outstanding committee member. She has an excellent memory of what we tried and what worked and didn't work. She is extremely logical and could think thru the ramifications of potential decisions. She could also think thru the issues of leadership and logistics with amazing clarity. During the her last year on the committee, Vicki also coordinated the environment team, which included reception, decorations, ushers and pre-show for the graduates.

Mike Cotter of Southway Community Church. Mike was a great committee member and asset to the team. Mike joined the Committee in 2007. As a safety engineer, Mike brought a unique perspective to the Baccalaureate Committee. Mike was good at filling in the gaps: asking questions no one thought to ask and researching things he notice. He brought his camera to our tour of Dawson HS and to the Manvel Baccalaureate service. In 2010, Mike researched the suggested speaker and the new version of Pomp and Circumstance that was being used and had his own set of questions that were based on his research. Mike was also our only male long term committee member.

Nancy Pridgen of 1^st United Methodist Church of Pearland. Nancy joined the Committee in 2002. Her primary focus was on printed materials and advertising. She did a wonderful job involving her fellow church members in Baccalaureate. Nancy also coordinated with our graphic artist, participated in the choosing of logo and the phrase: The blessing of the Graduates. Nancy held a strong belief in Baccalaureate and the value of what we were doing. Nancy also suggested the design for the back of the t-shirt.

The following 2 are PISD employees or former employees.

Anita Holmes of 1^st Baptist Church of Pearland. I believe Anita Holmes is called by God to be the receptionist for Pearland High School. She is a wonderful asset to the Christian community in that position. Anita has used that position to be helpful to the cause of Baccalaureate in ways that are too numerous to be named here. Anita also knew the students and was able to suggest and confirm possible names for testimonies.

Darlene Woods of New Harvest Christian Fellowship Church. Darlene Woods was the former Senior Class Secretary. She was wonderful at her job and another person that I believe God positioned for His purposes. She used that position to advocate for Baccalaureate in several ways. She was eyes and ears, letting me know pertinent information, like when Balfour would be on campus. She also knew the students and would recommend or confirm the names of students who were known for walking the walk and talking the talk on campus.