What is going on here?

I originally wrote this for my ministry letter, but decided not to send it. It a great basic summary of what has gone on. A sad summary.

As I go into a local Project Graduation Stuffing Party, looking over my shoulder, hiding behind columns and ducking into bathrooms – if necessary. My friend texts me: The coast is clear. I dash into the meeting, sit beside her and put labels on the envelopes and keep my head down.

Someone asks me what school clubs I am working with and I am afraid to answer, for fear he will tell other youth pastors and that they will eliminate from this as well.

I deliver 60 pieces of Starbucks pastries to a club and when I sign in, I look at who else has signed in, I realizing I am once again at risk for a confrontation at a school, during a club.

How did I get here? When did simple ministry of snacks and club support become a game of espionage? What is going on here? My whole world of ministry has been turned upside down.

Basically, my story is this. A local youth pastor – my supervisor calls him "Skippy" decided that he was going to take over everything I'm doing and run me out of town. He decided that I had the most powerful position in town. I laugh hilariously as I write this. I have nothing. I am nothing. I just tried to get churches and youth pastors to work together.

He held secret youth pastor meetings and secret Baccalaureate meetings. He spoke well of me in public and threaten me in private. He has a business background.

In part because of my fear and in part because I really wanted to work together, I gave him the leadership of the Pearland Youth Ministry Alliance, which I had coordinated and organized for about 20 years. He never included me in the official email list and within 3 months, he was not inviting me to meetings at all. When I started another network (after being excluded for 6 months) and included all youth ministry people, he screamed and complained about how divisive I was.

When we finally got everyone (the working Baccalaureate Committee and the secret meeting people) together working on Baccalaureate, Skippy was absent half and time and divisive when he was present.

James, my supervisor told me: Skippy isn't going to rest until he has leadership of Baccalaureate. I continued, organizing Baccalaureate monthly meetings all summer and all fall to help us be a team, believing that this was the best we could do for Baccalaureate, the community, the students and our team: that we needed time to become a team and share a vision.

During all this, I am steady finding clubs, developing club leadership and delivering day old Starbucks to clubs. At this point, I was deliver snacks and involved with 4 different clubs, which represented about 200 students each week.

In October, "Dora" my club ministry partner (whose main interests was getting snacks for clubs from local businesses) decided she was no longer with Cross in the City. I was communicating with her to help her determine what God was calling her to do and what our new relationship would be, when she involved her pastor. At that point, she would not longer talk to me unless my supervisor, James and her pastor were present. Her pastor decided that she had started the snack program, so she should take all the clubs. Because I did so much more than snacks, I could see that this was going to be a real loss for the clubs, the sponsors and the students.

James and I were trying to work out a time to meet with Dora and her pastor. That's when it happened. Skippy contacted Dora's pastor. James and I were called to a meeting on December 7 with Dora, Skippy and their respective pastors. The assumption was that the meeting would be about the club issues, but no one really knew and there was a broad spectrum of issues that could be involved.

I had a great team going into the meeting. I took six people with me. They asked extremely insightful questions and gave me valuable feedback. From what I could tell the main message was that the pastors wanted Baccalaureate back and they wanted Skippy to be in charge.

Frankly, they were ready to close in prayer and none of the club stuff with Dora had been addressed. It was immediately put under the care of Skippy. Then we closed in prayer. As Skippy was leaving, he hugged me and told me that he was "sorry he harbored hatred in his heart for me."

I got valuable feedback from my team. Most importantly, that I hadn't done anything wrong and that I didn't deserve the kind attack or treatment I had been subject to that night. The strong suggestion from the ministry professionals in the group was: Shake the dust from your feet.

After this meeting, James told me that Skippy would not rest until he had everything I was doing.

Within 3 weeks, Skippy and Dora were partners in the club thing and taking over one club. The PYMA became the Pearland Student Pastors Alliance and was only open to student pastors from churches. The PSPA had put themselves in charge of all PISD JH and HS clubs, Baccalaureate and See you at the Pole. Basically, my mission statement: I wish I'd had more vision to give them.

If you would like to read more about the drama and terror and what it has meant, it is on my blog: dottiedch.blogspot.com. There are also great stories about the clubs and what great kids they are! It isn't all bad news!

At the sponsor's request, I am still involved with one club I worked with Dora on. I found another thru the students of another club. I have met with a group of students at another school to help them start a club – they are still waiting on principal approval to start. And I have found still another junior high club thru a tip from a club sponsor. And I help a club in Pasadena. So, I am still involved with four clubs and waiting for the 5^th to start. I'm almost back up to working with about 200 students a week. I know I am trying to use my time wisely, but I am aware that I am in transition and I think God is moving me on. I also realized that God can do a miracle in Pearland and keep me here. I am praying for clear guidance and direction.

Because I believe the God who called me is faithful, I am believing that in the mist of such vicious hatred and exclusion, that God is good and He has my next position of service ready for me. In that belief, I am being ordained. I have never had my call to ministry publically recognized. January 18, 2011, I observed 30 years in ministry. It probably is important that I note that I do not feel called to be a pastor, I still feel called to student ministry in the community.

Affirming My Call

Celebrating 30 years in ministry

Saturday, March 5, 2011 2 pm

1320 Scott Pasadena, TX 77506

Worship Service and Ordination followed by a reception.

Please bring a finger food to share. Coffee and Tea will be provided.

Of course, Skippy and Dora are false names to conceal their identities.

Celebrating Baccalaureate – with the Baccalaureate team

When things end badly, sometimes you forget what you did well. And as a leadership team, we did a lot of things right. This past Saturday night, the Baccalaureate Leadership Team sat down and celebrated! This is what we celebrated!

What are we celebrating tonight?

We did 13 (2 in 2010) great Baccalaureate services that impacted the lives and families of about 1000+ students. (Our lowest attendance was 65 (2009) and our highest was 143.)

We started with a mundane, run of the mill Baccalaureate – Remember the pastors sat across the stage, the speaker was a noted dignitary, but not always student friendly, the program listed the churches and the senior pastors and the graduates' names in micro type.

Each year we fine tuned the service adding power point, worship, student testimonies, student led prayer, a prayer team.

We did a unique service for each graduating class, searching for unique students that had gifts that we could utilize in the Baccalaureate service, often without any input from students!

We involved at least 22 different churches and organizations in Baccalaureate. There are 21 on the reverse and I can come up with at least 2 more.

We added a reception in 2000 and gifts to the graduates in 200?. We went to the t-shirts in 2004 and the logo in 2003

We negotiated the issues with the Pearland Ministerial Alliance and PISD amazingly well.

We developed a priority for making decisions based on our values and what we thought was important to each class.

We came up with a committee structure that allow for all churches to be represented.

When faced with opposition from the youth pastors, we choose to work together and to be inclusive and inviting, adapting to their issues.

Thank you for your Faithful Service!

Afraid and Confused

I've worked with a club sponsor for a long time – about 5 years. She is a great lady and a real asset to the spiritual life of her campus. If there is anyone that a living, breathing, Christian Light on her campus, it is this lady. Not only does she sponsor the students' on campus Christian Club, she leads a weekly prayer meeting for the teachers and staff.

In all the mess and drama that my life and ministry has become, she has stood with me. I think she loved me and appreciated me. I think she realized that she got great services from me – that I was faithful and dependable. I think she saw into my heart and saw that I was good and kind and helpful. A kindred spirit, a partner, a helper, a servant. All though, part of me was afraid she just was going for the underdog: me!

At the suggestion of my supervisor, I made a list of everything I did for the club and for her as the sponsor.

This is an abbreviated list.

Make things as easy and possible for the club sponsor

Be her point person

Attend every club and leadership meeting

Be in charge of meetings if the sponsor cannot be there.

Coordinate snacks

Pick up after club

Coordinate all volunteers

Oversee, train and organize all volunteers

Put away supplies

Look for prayer request. Pull out and make copies if necessary

Research topics, ideas, supplies

Count students and keep records

Write curriculum if necessary

Contact youth pastor speakers and make initial arrangements

Remind youth pastors speakers and forward confirmation to the sponsor

Pray for club sponsor and the club

She wanted me to keep doing all I do, but she did not want to acknowledge to any one that I did this. She was afraid that the student pastor that has placed himself over clubs would pull my on campus badge because I am helping her. She was afraid that if she acknowledged what I did, we would both be seen as being hostile. She has told him that she wanted to stay with me, but he continues to call her and offer to book her speakers and continues to want a list of who she is having to speak. She feels like she has to give him the information.

At first, I was irritated. Then I realized: she was afraid. She is afraid of losing her job. She is afraid of the student pastor that has placed himself over the clubs. She is afraid of losing my help and support. She is afraid that she will not be able to replace me with a teacher co-sponsor. She is afraid if she loses her job, the club will stop. She is afraid that if she chooses me, she will lose out on being a part of something else. She is afraid that her simple right of letting the student leaders choosing and inviting her own speakers will be taken over by said student pastor. She is afraid that she will not have the help and support she has come to depend on. She is afraid of losing her snack support. She is frustrated that the TEAM she had come to count on is no longer a team and worst than that, such confusion and competition has set in – who knows who to trust?

It is a slow process, but then I realize I am afraid too. I'm not mad or irritated any more. I am afraid of said student pastor. He has already threatened me. I am afraid of losing my place of service – my ministry – the service I perform for God. I am afraid of shame and embarrassment. I am afraid of speaking up and of not speaking up. Part of me wants to run and hide and the other part wants to stand and fight. I am afraid that I will not be able to be there for the club sponsor I so dearly love and have come to treasure and respect. I am sick about my relationship with my former snack partner – I can't believe that things can break down to this point.

I am sick to have any part in what makes my sponsor friend feel afraid and confused. I've offered to leave and she doesn't want that. Without communication, there is no restoring the relationships or the broken trust with the snack person and the youth pastor. Part of me wants to run and hid and part wants to stand up and fight the wrong and injustice I see. In many ways, I think the sponsor and I would just like to be left alone, but that request has not been honored so far, so the chaos and drama continues.

It seems like serving Christ should invoke a certain amount of fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. But she and I are afraid mainly of people within the church – who should be affirming what we are doing but instead are trying to compete for control of it. We should be worried about whether we have enough drinks for the club next week, but instead we are afraid that a certain youth pastor or a certain snack person will try to close us down.

What is going on in a community where the Church is attacking itself?

Affirming My Call

Affirming My Call

Celebrating 30 years in ministry

Saturday, March 5, 2011 2 pm

1320 Scott Pasadena, TX 77506

Worship Service and Ordination followed by a reception.

Please bring a finger food to share. Coffee and Tea will be provided

Celebrating Baccalaureate

I started chairing Baccalaureate in 1998 and I did my first service in 1999. I was appointed by the then president of the Pearland Ministerial Alliance. My first service was wonderful and after the service, no one wanted to go home. People stood in the commons and visited. The Graduates formed a huge "99" and the parents ran to the second floor to take pictures of it.

The next year (2000), I decided that we needed a reception – since people wanted to stand around and visit. Vicki Frame, a friend advised me on how this should happen. Provide the table clothes and use plastic so that they all match. Vicki took charge of the reception that year and she deserves all the credit for it. She did a great job

For 2001, someone asked me what my idea of a perfect Baccalaureate was and I said a reception and giving a gift to the graduates. We handed a graduation key fob to the graduates. It was our first year to have Dave Edwards speak and he did a wonderful job for many graduates and their siblings. I know this because when I play a video of the service or when I showed seniors his picture, many would say – he spoke at my brother's (or sister's) Baccalaureate – he's hilarious!

In 2002, we ask a local graphic and layout artist to design a logo for Baccalaureate. By this time, we realized that we needed a catch phrase to describe Baccalaureate. We came up with "The blessing of the graduates." John Gilmore was wonderful to work with and a blessing to Baccalaureate.

In 2003, we started passing out a t-shirts to the graduates as a gift for attending the service. John Gilmore also laid out our t-shirts and the programs.

2004 to 2005 were years of small changes and constant turmoil with the Pearland Ministerial Alliance. I felt a kinship and a responsibility to the PMA and they always seem to feel like I was acting independent of them. I felt they were family and they seem to regard me as an untrustworthy outsider. The attendance at their meeting was irregular and there were no minutes, so no one (but me) could keep up with the decisions regarding Baccalaureate.

In 2006, our relationship with the school radically changed. We received a list of "suggestions" from administration, including that the service be shortened to 1 hour or less. We were no longer allowed to pass out Baccalaureate information on Campus. We started anticipating our need for 2 services Pearland and Dawson in 2010. I was greeted with high fives at the end of the 2006 service – I had come in at 59 minutes and 23 seconds. I didn't know the service was being timed!

In 2008, Warrick Baker was our first local speaker. The PMA disbanded in November 2008, leaving me and Baccalaureate without an accountability group. I decided that Baccalaureate was important to continue. The Committee supported this decision.

Tom Allen was our speaker in 2009. Tom asked me why I was continuing Baccalaureate. I told him I figured I could either continue it or drop it. He looked at me and said: It's good that you are continuing it. PISD would never let it start again. Tom was a former school board member.

The lost of the PMA affected Baccalaureate deeply. There was no longer a central reporting to a group or time. The progress as far as the churches and attendance was dimensioning. It was difficult to get the word out. I continue to operate as I was accountable to the PMA and considered their input when we made decisions.

January 2010, I was bombarded by youth pastors who felt like I was excluding them from Baccalaureate! I felt like I was begging people to participate – what a strange turn of events. By February, their program, their speaker were all decided. The only thing that we didn't go with was t-shirts for the service - we stayed with cap & gown. By March, the youth pastors were ready to be done with Mike, Vicki and II – the experienced committee members. I had always worked in cooperation for Baccalaureate, but some of the team was now down right hostile. By the day of the services in May, I think they saw that Mike, Vicki and I brought something valuable to the table. I don't think any of them want to take charge of the reception, setting up the school or picking up the t-shirts or pass them out.

During December 2010, I sat down with a group of pastors, youth pastors and several others. The bottom line was the pastors wanted Baccalaureate back and they wanted the chief hostile youth pastor to be in charge of it. He graciously let me know that the youth pastors were eager for me to serve them and I was welcome to be involved. . .

This chapter in my life – and it was a huge chapter is now closed. I still think 13 Baccalaureates is worth celebrating.

Berry Miller – Salt and Light

I Love being a part of on Campus Christian Clubs! This morning was no exception.

You must understand that it is very difficult to find the clubs. That is challenge number one. Christian Clubs are a political hot button for a public school, so in general, they don't want to acknowledge that they exist. Usually, you just can't call and ask. It usually isn't on the website. The second challenge is to successfully make contact with the either the students or the club sponsor in such a way that you can be allowed to help with the club. (Not intrude or take over, but genuinely assist – Serve and help carry the load.)

Two weeks ago, I successfully found and contacted a Christian Club sponsor. (Insider tips are my best information! The Sponsor of an existing club told me that she heard about this club – Thank you, Sue!) I offered to bring snacks and pick up afterwards. The sponsor was very excited to get such an offer.

So, this morning, I brought snacks. I have left over starbucks pastries, but on Tuesday, Billy and Linda offered me some pretty Valentine cupcakes! Three Dozen – I thought that would be plenty. I emailed to ask the sponsor. He said normally, they have 40 to 50! Wow! I took the cupcakes, but I added 10 pieces of Starbucks.

Enough about how God opened the door! The club: It was an amazing club. They mingled and ate cupcakes to start with. The sponsor opened with a beautiful prayer. Then, the kids broke up into 2 groups – one group of mainly boys (3 girls) and one of all girls. Two different boys addressed the boys, one after another. The 2^nd boy told the boys this was just for boys, so the three girls got up and joined the girls. A girl spoke to the girls. All the speakers I heard were excellent. Both referred to their favorite verses. Both spoke confidently. It is hard to listen to two different speakers at once! But I was trying.

I also watched random acts of kindness: a girl crossing the gym for a paper towel to give someone else. A boy, leaving his cupcake on his books in the gym and returning with 2 or 3 friends (all girls!), picking up his books and cupcake and joining the boys group. I had wondered about that cupcake sitting on those books. Several students thanked me for the snacks.

I spoke to the club sponsor and he said that they rotate the speaking. The students decide who is doing what next. I told him I would bring snacks next week. I told him I could get him a youth pastor speaker, but that it seemed like they had a format that was working and I hate to disrupt that. He agreed.

I counted students: 35 girls and 28 boys.

I want you to be encouraged: In a world where you hear about young criminals and terrible crimes, there is hope! There are 63 students being Salt and Light at Berry Miller Junior High.