In Satan's Crosshairs

I haven't mailed out a letter for several years.  I wrote on this year that I am pleased with, but I don't think I am going to be able to mail it.  I did want to get the word out.

I’m in Satan’s cross hairs.  Do you ever feel like that?  That is where I feel like I am living.

 

I haven’t written a ministry letter for 3 years and I really want this year to be different – I can’t tell you how often I have started this letter.

 

I have spent my time helping on campus Christian Clubs (since 2007), Baccalaureate (since 1999) and the Pearland Youth Ministry Alliance (since 1991) – Just as a reminder of what I have been doing in Pearland.

 

2009 was a year where everything was looking up.  Club ministry was really coming together.  People were coming to help.  We were becoming a team: the vision (and the task) was becoming clearer.

 

2010 was the pivotal year.  At the very end of the year, the club team was destroyed by a divisive partner.  Baccalaureate and the Pearland Youth Ministry Alliance were taken away by a divisive youth pastor.  Officially, my work with on Campus Christian Clubs was taken away from me as well.

 

2011 was the healing and affirming year.  After the move by youth pastors to put me out of the school club program, I had two simple goals:  Finish the school year helping out one club and move out of Pearland to another community.  By April, I realized that I was doing more clubs and working with more students than I had before clubs were taken away from me.  Graciously, someone pointed out that God will prosper you in what He has called you to do – I couldn’t have figured this out.  My calling was affirmed.  I did not attend Baccalaureate 2011 – for the first time since 1994, but I was informed that it was poorly done and poorly attended – the lowest attendance ever.  This was both a balm to my ego, but it was also an assault to my community spirit – how could they ruin such a brilliant opportunity to influence students to godliness?

 

The doors to the other community closed:  Unexpectedly and unexplainably, leaving me to either continue ministry in Pearland or get another job.  I chose to go thru the doors God was opening.

 

By November, something was taking place in me.  Words were falling out of my mouth that were not mine.  The words and insights were brilliant.  I started to realize that while I was the point person for unity and working together in my community, it was unity and working together that was Satan’s target, not me.  As wounded as I was, my community and students were more hurt in this.  I grieved for my community, for the students I so loved.  I moved from licking my own wounds to a new healing.

 

I started to view what I was doing differently.  Rather than a simple wife and mother, doing what she could, I saw myself as uniquely called, uniquely trained, uniquely designed for my community, for clubs for students, for such a time as this.  Rather than just a good thing, I started to see myself as engaged in strategic warfare for a generation.  This shift in image is crucial.   A critical person in a critical position who was called by God to bring people and churches together to reach students for Christ. 

 

Who?  me? 

By 2012, I was still finding and helping more clubs.  Clubs were growing and multiplying.  Student leaders were growing in their ability to lead. 

 

I attended Baccalaureate 2012.  Attendance was even lower – less than 50 people.  I was distraught to see this God opportunity becoming less than it's potential and not impacting students the way I knew was possible.  

 

On a personal note, I was facing more and more personal challenges.  Overwhelming financial difficulties, martial issues, overwhelming mental health and behavioral issues with a child, personal depression and suicidal thoughts, home and personal issues – the list made me feeling like I was battling on all fronts.

 

Summer 2012, I was ready to quit.  It was too hard.  The issues were overwhelming.  I could not work another year for annual salary of $5000.  I began looking for a job.  I even interviewed.  At this point, I would say I was depressed and definitely in some kind of spiritual battle, as I was vacillating.  When I looked at me and looked at what I was doing, I reminded myself of James 1: 6: ⁶ . . .  because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 

 

That was me – Like a wave of the sea – ready to quit one day, ready to enroll in graduate school the next, ready to stand up and fight the next.  I could see what I was doing, but I couldn’t stop it.  I couldn’t see what God wanted me to do, so I couldn’t pick His direction.  I was willing, but completely unable.

 

When the school year is starting, I decide I’m going to quit a troublesome club and I will help other clubs until I can find other employment.  I’m still determined to solve my financial problems in my way.  Do you see it?  I’m going to leave my true calling, my true purpose:  Satan nearly has me beaten down.

 

I’m in Satan’s Cross hairs and he is trying by any means to take me down.  Because: I am “A critical person in a critical position who was called by God to bring people and churches together to reach students for Christ.”

 

Will you pray for me?  I know who I am and I know what God has called me to.  Satan is aiming to take me and my family down by any means possible. 

 

Will you consider giving?  It will take as a little as 100 people giving $25/month or $300/year – to keep me in this critical position?  Will you be one of my 100?  Will you be 2? 

 

At this point, I am helping with 6 clubs about 600 students a week.  I have my finger in the Baccalaureate pot, hopeful to help bring it to its potential and impact students.  I have started a “Women in Youth Ministry Network”.  I see all kinds of opportunities to connect students with Christ and the Church, to help connect workers with the harvest.  After several difficult years, my vision has returned.  I know who I am.

 

⁹ for a wide door ^[b]for effective service has opened to me, and there are many adversaries. I Cor. 16:9

 

Please.  Pray for me.  Join me.

 

Dottie

 

Financial gifts can be mailing to:

Cross in the City

1320 Scott St.

Pasadena, Tx  77506

This is me!

Today, I'm thankful that God has positioned me for such a time as this. This is a quote from the book "To Transform a City" by Swanson and Williams.
" . . . you know who you are - a select group of people with an overenlarged heart and the capacity to embrace a vision for ministry larger than a single church. You think about the kingdom. You think about the broken. You think about who needs to be at the table. Though often misunderstood and underappreciated (and always underfunded), you have the call of God on your life. We want to encourage you: Don't give up! Cities are the future of the church, and God has positioned you where you are for such a time as this."
Waiting for my time!
Praying for the transformation of Pearland!

See You at the Pole - Pearland

I wanted to post an update on See you at the Pole.

I attempted to put together a support committee for See you at the Pole.  We struggled to meet and we struggled to have a shared vision.  Towards the end of this process, I was a little lost. I was torn between believing that I was trying to force something that God wasn't in and believing that the enemy was so terribly opposed to believers coming together, that he was thwarting our every move.

The numbers are down a little from last year, but I do believe that God is using us.

PHS - 112 students/8 adults

JH West - 14 students/1 adult (no picture)

 

JH East - 200 total

 

Berry Miller JH - 20 students

JH South - about 100 (no picture)

I have no numbers or information on Dawson or Pace or any middle school.

There are outstanding stories. And Pictures. I put everything I could on Facebook, my page, the syatp page, the PHS CITY page and KSBJ.

And I guess, I decided that God was using us to create awareness about See you at the Pole - of it's importance and how God uses it on a campus.

 

And our committee has a plan.  One person is going to contact the School superintendent.  One is going to contact a teacher sponsor for next year.  An other's children are so fired up for See You at the Pole, they have become leaders in their own right!  And another, felt the need to contact the student pastor opposition and let him know how wonderful her school's See you at the Pole was!

 

God is moving.  In us.  In schools.  In Students.  Thank Him.

This morning, DeZavala Middle School

What an interesting morning!  I was to talk about How to grow spiritually over the summer at a middle school (5th & 6th graders) club in Pasadena.

Before I go any further, I need to squash all your misconceptions about on campus Christian Clubs - that they are a "holy huddle", that it is all the Christian kids in one room and they all are solid church kids.  Bah humbug!  I find that the on campus Clubs attract any where from 30% to 90% non church kids.  The presentations need to be about 90% on accepting Christ, how to grow and understanding your faith and finding a church.

So, as of yesterday, I had a fairly traditional presentation about bible reading, attending church and prayer as traditional methods of spiritual growth.  I had a summer bible reading plan so that they could read thru the New Testament over the summer. 

It was safe.  It was easy.  Matter of fact.  God starts hitting me with questions:  Name one time that you experienced spiritual growth while reading the Bible or praying.  Or thru the act of attending church.  That one is closer, because if you knew who I had to put up with while attending church, you would know I had to grow. 

I can't think of a single Bible reading that cause growth in me.  Or a single prayer, except when I got to the point of:  Thy will be done and truly, that was a struggle of wills and preception. 

What cause growth in you? the spirit quietly asks me.  Now, I am terrified.  Do I really have to talk about struggles and pain that bring growth to 5th and 6th graders? 

How about the act of service?  How about loving the unloveable?  Doesn't that bring growth?  How about being attacked by the church?  Back stabbing?  That sure brought a world of growth.  What about living in need?  Painful, but I have had to learn to trust God for what I need.

I'm driving and crying, going to this club, thinking about what has brought precious spiritual growth in my own life and how do I tell 5th graders about that?  How the bible, prayer and church attendance provides the framework for growth thru suffering, love and service?

The good news and the bad news.  The good news:  God used a simple lesson on Spiritual growth to turn everything I believed about spiritual grow upside down.  The Bad news:  Not a single student showed up this morning.  The good news:  I was able to freely minister to the sponsors and they both seem to need it.

Growth.  Who knew what I would learn this morning?

Power Bands at Berry Miller - The day of!

It is finally the day of the power bands at Berry Miller JH.  I am nervous, but hopeful and excited.  I am there early. 

I was emailing as late as yesterday morning because I didn’t have the 10 adult leaders I needed.  Today, I don’t know what to expect, but I know that at this point, it is about trusting God.  I’ve done everything I can do.

I end up with 8 adult leaders and 5 youth pastors.  One youth pastor had to cancel yesterday afternoon, so another had brought one of his volunteers to fill in.

I have Kurt, Caleb, Paul, Ronnie and Chuck as the youth pastors.

I have John, Julie, Benjamin, Lee, Alyx, Michael and 2 guys from Life church – I can’t remember their names.  They were all wonderful.  The teacher sponsor takes a group, which makes for 9 groups.

I am in the bleachers, breaking up the rowdy group as planned.  The sponsor opens with prayer, as usual.  I have sent about 20 of the rowdies to 4 different groups.  The sponsor announces that we are doing things differently, that the students need to join a group on the floor and if they don’t want to, they need to stay in the bleachers.

Where did that come from?  Oh, well.  Adjust. 

Paul quickly asked me what those kids were going to do.  I assure him, it wasn’t part of the plan.  He and Tamara get them together and Paul does a lesson for those kids.

Meanwhile, we recruit the choir teacher to do Paul’s part – the white bead.

I float from group to group, making sure that they have what they need, listening, advising, helping, checking, being available.  The students I notice are all very attentive, very engaged, in listening and making the power bands.  The students who chose to remain in the bleachers are giving Paul their full attention.  The choir teacher, quickly recruited to do Paul’s part – the white bead – is doing an excellent job.  The Black bead youth pastor is on group 7, the Red bead youth pastor is on group 5 – there are 9 groups in all.

And suddenly, the unexpected happens.  The bell rings.  The show is not over, but it is over. 

I am mortified, but I start breaking up groups and sending students to class.  Groups tell me:  Please, we are almost done, let us finish, but I send them to class. 

I check with all the adult leaders.  They tell me:  I had the best student leader ever, which makes me feel like I have given each and every adult leader the best student ever.  It is okay that we didn’t have a youth pastor present, I shared the gospel with each bead and every student in my group heard and understood the gospel.  The youth pastors were just re-enforcement. 

It wasn’t how I planned it, but I left thinking:  God is good, the Gospel went out and His ways are always higher and  better than our ways.

Thanks for your prayers.

Power Bands at Berry Miller JH - Part 2

To get this job done, there is quite a bit of prep.  I can do math and figure out how much of everything I need, but I must admit, assembling it all is something else.

I decide to be prepared I will need supplies for 400 power bands.  This means 400 15 inch lengths of leather cord, 400 black beads, 400 red beads, 400 white beads, 400 green beads and 400 gold/yellow beads.

All the supplies need to sorted and packaged.  This was a much bigger job than I would have thought.  I decide I will cut and bundle 100 leather cords a day on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.  It takes me over an hour to get about 140 cords done on Monday.  Allie (my daughter) helped me a lot on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.  She counted most of the beads and put them in pill bottles.  40 beads to a bottle, 6 colors of beads, 10 groups – 60 bottles of beads. 

Then the next step is 40 leather cords (bundled in groups of 10) and 6 bottles of beads put in a bag.

It may not sound like much, but it took hours to get this all done.

Power Bands at Berry Miller JH (part 1)

I have agreed to do power bands at the club at Berry Miller JH.  At this point, there should be at least one question:  What is a power band?

A power band (also called a salvation bracelet or a “rainbow faith” bracelet) is a cord with colored beads on it.  Each bead represents something in the salvation message.  I like to use Black –Sin, Red – Christ’s Death/Blood, White – Cleanse/pure, Green – Grow, and Yellow – Heaven/Streets of Gold. 

It’s a simple project – kind of a craft and a salvation message all rolled into one.

However, the club at Berry Miller has a consistent attendance of about 300 +/-.  I have done this before, but with about 100 students at a time, not 300.

So, I come up with a plan.  I ask for advice and suggestions.  I decide to break up the group into smaller groups of 30 and put an adult leader and a student leader with each group.  It will take 10 groups and 10 adult leaders.  Not only that, I decide that I will have 5 pastor/youth pastors come in and each give a 1 minute presentation on a bead color.  They will give that presentation 10 times – once to each small group.

I will have to recruit 10 adults and 5 pastor/youth pastors.

There is a group of rowdy students.  They sit the same place every week.  I decide that group should be broken up. 

What do you think?  Will it work?

The On Campus Christian Club at West AND What I was made for . . .

This morning, I was at the club at Pearland JH West. It is just a wonderful club. Let me tell you about it.

There is a leadership team that is made up of 4 8^th grade girls: April, Abby, SaraBeth and Milan. They are wonderful, each dedicated and gifted in their own way. April seems to be the behind the scene, take charge, back bone leader type. Abby is the teacher, talker, leader type. SaraBeth is the praying, dedicated, behind the scene, driven by her passion for God. I don't have a read on Milan yet. She was ill this morning and quiet the last time I was there.

April is who greeted me when I came to the first club, introducing herself, explaining what they were doing. SaraBeth prayed at the flag pole for See you at the Pole – alone in 2010. I believe that SaraBeth might be the driving force behind this club, however, she is painfully shy, yet she overcame that to recruit others to help her start a club. And now, she is a leader. She prayed this morning – did a great job. Abby is the only teacher/speaker I have heard so far, however, I understand that she and Milan switch off.

This is what I have done the 3 times I have been at West. I have clapped and cheered and told them what a great job they were doing. I have linked them to the other clubs, by telling them about the CITY shirts and by telling them about the other clubs. This morning, I brought them food: Donated 2 bite brownies with sprinkles and a glop of yellow frosting. They were thrilled!

Another thing. I told them I would normally put 2 brownies on a napkin and April and SaraBeth took over and started doing it. It's a simple skill and I'm sure it doesn't sound like much, but April and SaraBeth, eagerly embraced it and started doing it and took it over. Teachable.

After the club, I picked up trash. I am thrilled to pick up trash for these clubs, because it makes sure the club stays in good standing with the school. Close things down, so that all the student leaders can get to class on time.

They were thrilled to hear about the shirts. Thrilled to have brownies. I was thrilled to be there. This morning, I was the only adult in the auditorium. There were 96 students today. Last time, there were 2 adults, me and another youth pastor. Adult help is an easy way to support these clubs and so important. The safety ratio for a club of this type is 1 adult to every 30 students. It is important that the church step up and do this. It is a preventative measure: It prevents the problems the students could get into. It prevents the problems the school could have with the unsupervised students – alone in the auditorium. It prevents the school having to come up with the personnel to supervise the students, which would also be supervising the club, which can lead to other issues. And it becomes the church supporting the church, the adults supporting students. I love that.

And here is what I was made for. At some point, I became a welcome addition to their leadership team. Welcome to help, welcome to contribute. Not the leader or the master, but a fellow team player. And I love that. I love coming along students and helping them fulfill their vision of a having a great club at their school. I hope you are hearing me: I don't want to be in charge: I don't really think that is appropriate, but I do like being a team player and I don't have any trouble being an equal on a student leadership team.

That's what I was made for.

I tie dyed my Baccalaureate t-shirt and it changed the way I saw everything!

It is funny how the smallest things cause you to see things differently.

Most Summers, my family plans a week at the Beach. We play at the beach and do various projects – which usually include tie dying or making some kind of memorable t-shirt. I took a Baccalaureate t-shirt. I think I wrote “Beach Week 2011” on one sleeve and I drew a fish front and center under the neck.
I think this was the start of something for me. By late October or early November, the transformation in the way I view the events of the past year was complete. Gone was the view that I was the target or the victim. Replacing that was the view that Unity and Community was the target. Gone was the view that the power hungry youth pastor was the enemy. The Youth Pastor was used by the real enemy – and how many of us have been used by the real enemy? I can acknowledge that it is wrong, but I can’t deny that I have been there and I have been used before.
I did have to wonder about a group of pastors that gather and gossip and don’t look for truth. I did have wonder about the attack from pastors on Unity and Community, but it wasn’t about me. Sadly, it is about how sick my community is. How sick the churches are?
I did wonder what kind of disease it is when the body attacks the body and what is the cure for that? But once again, it is not about me. I was only the lone voice for unity, community and working together, so I was the lightening rod.
There aren’t words to describe the joy that started overcoming me when this transformation was nearly complete. I can still speak of the frustration regarding the events of the past year, but the anger is gone. It has been replaced by a Godly sorrow that grieves for the church in my community. A church that attacks itself and doesn’t realize it is attack itself.
When my husband and I talk about the meeting or the events, he becomes so angry. I become grieved. I grieve for a group who sacrificed willing workings in the name of being in charge. I grieve for students who lost a great Baccalaureate service. I grieve for pastors who gave up the good they had because their understanding of community is so small.

NNYM San Diego Communities 4 Hope

I have been asked to write about my trip to San Diego. I just returned yesterday, so this is all very fresh.

The trip was very positive and I felt so blessed to be there.

The flight was great there, although I still have trouble sitting for an extensive time in a place so small that it is even difficult to reach in my pocket to get my chapstick!

Lunch with Doug Clark was a treat. Doug is the Director of Field Ministries for NNYM (National Network of Youth Ministries) and he works with Network coordinators from all over the US. He is so good and personable, he even asked me about my former boss and co-worker, John Butler. There are about 658 networks across the USA and I would guess that Doug knows most of us network leaders. Lunch with Doug was a treat on so many levels. First the opportunity to visit with him is a treat. Then the opportunity to eat lunch with another youth ministry professional is a treat. (Many youth ministers in this area will not sit down and eat a meal with me because of my gender.) So, when someone of that caliber (and closer to my age!) will, it is a treat and blessing and I recognize it as such! Doug listened to my story of what has happened to me in Pearland and was almost speechless. He affirmed my value in ministry: The Great Commission is too important to eliminate ½ the work force! He bought my lunch and he treated me as a person of respect who had something to contribute.

Doug has suggested that I write up my story for the Communities 4 Hope facebook page. It is a closed group and see what kind of suggestions I get. He thinks it will be a valuable case study.

After lunch, Doug and I picked up Keith Krueger from the Airport, Keith is the Regional Coordinator for the Great Lakes Area from Cincinnati. Once again, a Godly brother and ministry partner who treated me with respect, dignity and appreciation. The conversation with Doug, Keith and I was animated, professional, intriguing, thoughtful, challenging – as most of my interactions with these guys were. There was always something to share and something to learn or reflect on.

Working with the Communities 4 Hope group was a joy. They are Godly men from all over the USA, all involved with networking, some for NNYM and some were from YFC and other para-church groups. I was the only woman. The lines for the ladies room were non exsistent. However, Wednesday, the local Moms in Prayer group was meeting in the room across the hall. Their food looked really good. I figured I was the only one who could sneak in and check it out, maybe sample it without causing any notice!

I actively participated in all the conversations, especially once I felt accepted and welcomed. My contribution was small, but I did notice that several people picked up on it. Communities 4 Hope is NNYM's term for a particular kind of network that involves not only youth pastors and pastors, but other key leaders from the community: teachers, probation officers, business leaders, ministry leaders, volunteers and students. This network is interested in the spiritual welfare of the youth, particularly in the schools.

There was a discussion about whether C4H groups were a different kind of network. I came up the phrase: Continuum of Networks – the idea that C4H groups were not a different kind of Network, but a different place on the network continuum. It is not a huge thing, however, I did notice that several people (including Doug Clark) started using that wording and concept after I threw it out there. I was encourage by that and I hope that you can read between the lines that this simple contribution and seeing it embraced, encouraged me to understand, I do have something to contribute!

After a full day of working on C4H Wednesday, Kevin Boer took Jim Snead, Stan Elder and myself to eat and See San Diego. It was a fun time that concluded with a meal at an outdoor Mexican café. It was a fun time of fellowship. A big thank you to Kevin.

Thursday morning was a time of worship and prayer with NNYM's ministry Council. I took the only empty seat I saw and sat with 2 dear brothers. Because of what I want to share, I want them to be anonymous. We sang and then were challenge to pray together or separately over various issues. It was well done. We were reminded to give thanks in everything and Diana Brask(Rural Affinity Network coordinator) ask us to give thanks for a hard situation. My plan was to give thanks for the division in youth ministry in Pearland, however the young man before me shared that he would have to be thankful for this season with his wife. He went on to explain that his wife had been diagnosis bipolar about 6 months ago. He explained that when he got there, he spoke to his wife and realized she was having a manic episode. From 6 states away, he had arranged for the care of his 3 children (9, 2 and 1) and arranged for a friend to take his wife to the hospital. After hearing that, I gave thanks for Taylor, my hostile, bipolar step daughter. I praise him for sharing and reminded him of how difficult it is to talk about mental health issues. At the break, he and I talked further. It was one of those God moments – where you knew – exactly why you were there. I was thankful to be able to minister to him, cry with him, hold his hand and encouraging him: that God would be able to use everything he was learning and going thru. I reminded him that God often has us take extensive training in areas we would never choose.

You might relook at my wording: I took the only empty seat I saw. Do you think God "blinded me" so I only saw what HE wanted me to see to get me where HE wanted me to be?

The next session was listening to Daryl Nuss, the new Executive Director/CEO communicate the vision and the current assessment of NNYM. Probably mainly for the Ministry Council, but the C4H team was invited. Very good, very insightful. Very challenging.

At noon, his wife, Donna Nuss, drove me to the airport. We had a delightful time of sharing in the car.

I think it is also important to communicate that I was really beaten down before I took this trip. I would love to say that I was trusting God to direct me thru this trip. I am afraid it was almost more of an ultimatum: Either direct me or I'm out. I cannot continue to be the Pearland personal whipping boy for Satan for $2.89 an hour! It is too painful to me and my family for me to sacrifice so much for so little - both in terms of monetary and missional gains.

I hate to even mention the QUIT or DONE words, but I think I was there, at the brink. I don't think I realized how bad off I was, until I started seeing hope and direction and then I started randomly crying like a baby off and on, anytime, I reflect on where I had been and where I am going.. Just to think, God was willing to pick me up, restore and put me back on track.

Obviously, God met me there. I feel affirmed as a professional youth worker. I have several things I think I can try in Pearland. I also like to try starting some youth ministry networks in maybe in the Alvin, Manvel, Sagemont or Angleton areas. Let's see what God opens up. Since HE has called me, HE will surely guide me.

The expenses for this trip were mostly covered. If God moves to you give, you can either get an envelope from me or mail your check to Cross in the City, 320 Scott st., Pasadena, TX 77506

Going to San Diego!

On September 1, I was invited to be on a team with National Network of Youth Ministries to develop a national program called Communities 4 Hope. It is a program about getting churches and people to work together to help their communities and their youth.
Me? I’m still amazed. I am one of 54 people who have been part of this national research and development team. I’m still amazed and honored to serve in this way.
Len Evans, the NNYM Texas- New Mexico district coordinator invited me to be on this team. Two days ago, I realized that I was on this team due to my long time work with Baccalaureate. That I no longer do in Pearland. But I still do on campus Christian clubs and other community projects.
I am so excited. Doug Clark, the NNYM Director of Field Ministries, is picking me up at the airport and we are going to lunch together. I will have to keep myself from asking him to autograph my napkin. Or my shirt. Or my arm. Or my Bible.
Pray for me, okay. I want to help how I am able to help and learn what I need to learn. I know that there are things I have learned over the last 20 years, doing community and school ministry in Pearland that could be helpful to this national endeavor.
I am so honored by this invitation. Should I say it again: I am honored beyond words to be asked to work with this team at this time in my life. I am excited for me. But I am also so excited about what I can bring back to the Pearland community and schools.
Pray for me, okay.
Dottie