It is funny how the smallest things cause you to see things differently.
Most Summers, my family plans a week at the Beach. We play at the beach and do various projects – which usually include tie dying or making some kind of memorable t-shirt. I took a Baccalaureate t-shirt. I think I wrote “Beach Week 2011” on one sleeve and I drew a fish front and center under the neck.
I think this was the start of something for me. By late October or early November, the transformation in the way I view the events of the past year was complete. Gone was the view that I was the target or the victim. Replacing that was the view that Unity and Community was the target. Gone was the view that the power hungry youth pastor was the enemy. The Youth Pastor was used by the real enemy – and how many of us have been used by the real enemy? I can acknowledge that it is wrong, but I can’t deny that I have been there and I have been used before.
I did have to wonder about a group of pastors that gather and gossip and don’t look for truth. I did have wonder about the attack from pastors on Unity and Community, but it wasn’t about me. Sadly, it is about how sick my community is. How sick the churches are?
I did wonder what kind of disease it is when the body attacks the body and what is the cure for that? But once again, it is not about me. I was only the lone voice for unity, community and working together, so I was the lightening rod.
There aren’t words to describe the joy that started overcoming me when this transformation was nearly complete. I can still speak of the frustration regarding the events of the past year, but the anger is gone. It has been replaced by a Godly sorrow that grieves for the church in my community. A church that attacks itself and doesn’t realize it is attack itself.
When my husband and I talk about the meeting or the events, he becomes so angry. I become grieved. I grieve for a group who sacrificed willing workings in the name of being in charge. I grieve for students who lost a great Baccalaureate service. I grieve for pastors who gave up the good they had because their understanding of community is so small.
I think this was the start of something for me. By late October or early November, the transformation in the way I view the events of the past year was complete. Gone was the view that I was the target or the victim. Replacing that was the view that Unity and Community was the target. Gone was the view that the power hungry youth pastor was the enemy. The Youth Pastor was used by the real enemy – and how many of us have been used by the real enemy? I can acknowledge that it is wrong, but I can’t deny that I have been there and I have been used before.
I did have to wonder about a group of pastors that gather and gossip and don’t look for truth. I did have wonder about the attack from pastors on Unity and Community, but it wasn’t about me. Sadly, it is about how sick my community is. How sick the churches are?
I did wonder what kind of disease it is when the body attacks the body and what is the cure for that? But once again, it is not about me. I was only the lone voice for unity, community and working together, so I was the lightening rod.
There aren’t words to describe the joy that started overcoming me when this transformation was nearly complete. I can still speak of the frustration regarding the events of the past year, but the anger is gone. It has been replaced by a Godly sorrow that grieves for the church in my community. A church that attacks itself and doesn’t realize it is attack itself.
When my husband and I talk about the meeting or the events, he becomes so angry. I become grieved. I grieve for a group who sacrificed willing workings in the name of being in charge. I grieve for students who lost a great Baccalaureate service. I grieve for pastors who gave up the good they had because their understanding of community is so small.
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