I have been thinking about this post for a while. I have always worked with people who were out of the bounds of churches. Not out of bounds of the love of God, but out of the scope of churches.
I spent 20 years working with juvenile delinquents. They usually aren't your first choice - church folks and churches aren't making people who break the law the target group of their next outreach campaign. Or planning a VBS to reach all the gang members in their neighborhoods.
I spent 20+ years working with schools and students.
While the Harris County juvenile delinquents would never go to Pearland churches, the students would go to a church in their Pearland neighborhood.
It seems, that it is easier to get a student to Christ than to get a church to a student.
When I review a church budget - which is one of my favorite things to do - I am always amazed at what a church will spend for outreach to a group - that is often within the reach of its members. And what they won't spend to reach a group who has little or no access to the gospel.
Think for a minute: When did your church last address the needs of the poor, the widows, the orphans, the prisoners, the homeless, the oppressed, the lost, the fatherless? Did they educate you on those people groups that are dear to the heart of God? What do you know about the needs of those people groups that God loves so dearly?
Students, either in school or in jail, have always been what I have been passionate about. And this is what we know: they are interested in the issues of purpose and the meaning of life and figuring out those issues at this stage of life. We know that less than 20% of them will have contact with a church or ministry. We know that businesses spends Billions of advertising dollars to convince this people group to be customers, because they know the value of reaching them when they are young: they will be customers for life!
We also know: God only has children. No step children. All children deserve to hear the message of love from their father.
Friday, October 24, 2014
Friday, September 5, 2014
My Story: Meeting Jesus!
I don't remember a time when my family did not go to church every week, every time the door was open. I figured I was born there. My paternal grandfather was a bi-vocational pastor, my paternal great grandmother was a seeker of God. My maternal grandmother reminded me often how lucky I was to learn about Jesus early. My maternal grandfather was a deacon. My dad has been an adult Sunday school teacher and my mom taught children's Sunday School. I have a rich legacy of family that was/are serious about seeking and serving God.
As a 2 year old, I pulled the hair off my baby doll - to make her a boy. Sex surgeries are simple at 2! The doll became baby Jesus and I would play endless games of rescue baby Jesus from the bad King Herod.
I was familiar with the gospel and the plan of salvation from very young. During elementary school, the guilt and the need to respond was seriously on me. I was taught that I did not need to "walk the aisle", but that I could ask "Jesus into my heart" any where. So one day, when I was about 8, when my mom went in to get fried chicken for dinner, I bowed my head and prayed. It was a childish decision with sincere intent to follow thru. I didn't really talk about my prayer and I didn't really let any one know.
When I was about 16, the pressures of life were becoming more real. I was keenly aware that I was transitioning from childhood to adulthood and I wasn't sure I had what it took to make that transition.
At that point, I had taken to walking my neighborhood in the evening. I had a long dark navy wool coat with a hood. I would wear it and walk. It was January and cold! My mom always said if I had a sickle, I would look like death!
I probably was seriously praying while walking at this time, but I wouldn't have called it that. I would have said I was thinking.
I had asked a boy to a turn about dance and he had turned me down. While that is always traumatic to adolescents, I took this as the ultimate sign that I was not in control and that would not be able to get the things I wanted in life: Love, Success, Family, Purpose. I was scared.
One January night, while I walked and considered my possible failure at life, I looked at the stars. The thought popped in my head: The creator of the moon and stars is reaching out to help you. He wants to be your friend.
It was my unique encounter with the Living Christ. He sought me out and reached out to me in LOVE. I have never been the same. It has been 40 years since that time, but I fell madly in love with Him and my whole life has been an attempt to know Him and Love Him more and follow Him as closely as possible. (At this point, the song Day by Day from Godspell should be playing in the background: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWQEUzOACm4)
Because I responded to Jesus at 16, I was gratefully - spared much in the areas of sin and disobedience and the heart break that leaves people.
Because of His great love for me, I responded like a hungry baby, reading my bible continuously. I wanted to please Him in all my ways.
While I have lived through many traumas and Life is much harder than I could have ever imagine at 16. I am not the raging success I had hoped to be, God is much more loving and kind than I could have ever known him to be at 16.
I still weep when I recount the grand moment when He reached out to me in love.
As a 2 year old, I pulled the hair off my baby doll - to make her a boy. Sex surgeries are simple at 2! The doll became baby Jesus and I would play endless games of rescue baby Jesus from the bad King Herod.
I was familiar with the gospel and the plan of salvation from very young. During elementary school, the guilt and the need to respond was seriously on me. I was taught that I did not need to "walk the aisle", but that I could ask "Jesus into my heart" any where. So one day, when I was about 8, when my mom went in to get fried chicken for dinner, I bowed my head and prayed. It was a childish decision with sincere intent to follow thru. I didn't really talk about my prayer and I didn't really let any one know.
When I was about 16, the pressures of life were becoming more real. I was keenly aware that I was transitioning from childhood to adulthood and I wasn't sure I had what it took to make that transition.
At that point, I had taken to walking my neighborhood in the evening. I had a long dark navy wool coat with a hood. I would wear it and walk. It was January and cold! My mom always said if I had a sickle, I would look like death!
I probably was seriously praying while walking at this time, but I wouldn't have called it that. I would have said I was thinking.
I had asked a boy to a turn about dance and he had turned me down. While that is always traumatic to adolescents, I took this as the ultimate sign that I was not in control and that would not be able to get the things I wanted in life: Love, Success, Family, Purpose. I was scared.
One January night, while I walked and considered my possible failure at life, I looked at the stars. The thought popped in my head: The creator of the moon and stars is reaching out to help you. He wants to be your friend.
It was my unique encounter with the Living Christ. He sought me out and reached out to me in LOVE. I have never been the same. It has been 40 years since that time, but I fell madly in love with Him and my whole life has been an attempt to know Him and Love Him more and follow Him as closely as possible. (At this point, the song Day by Day from Godspell should be playing in the background: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWQEUzOACm4)
Because I responded to Jesus at 16, I was gratefully - spared much in the areas of sin and disobedience and the heart break that leaves people.
Because of His great love for me, I responded like a hungry baby, reading my bible continuously. I wanted to please Him in all my ways.
While I have lived through many traumas and Life is much harder than I could have ever imagine at 16. I am not the raging success I had hoped to be, God is much more loving and kind than I could have ever known him to be at 16.
I still weep when I recount the grand moment when He reached out to me in love.
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Worthless! NOT!
I have been through several traumas with the "church" and from the last one, I am still finding shrapnel. I am often surprised how deep the wound is and then I am surprised I am surprised!
My last wounding: I was called to a meeting with some pastors and I was told that they were speaking on behalf of the churches of Pearland. I was told that they would be taking over everything I was doing in Pearland: Baccalaureate, See you at the Pole, the Pearland Youth Ministry Alliance, On campus Christian Clubs Support. (Most of what I worked on has been abandoned. Also, to be fair, I have been told by many pastors: Those guys didn't speak for me.)
Fast forward. I have a teacher/Club sponsor texting me. I am begging her to let me drive an hour to meet with her. I am dying to help her with her club! It will be so exciting to brainstorm with her! I love helping Club Sponsors!
She is hesitant. I want to beg, but I don't. And then I realize I have a wound. This past year has left me feeling worthless. Like I have nothing to contribute to ministry and I want to contribute, but I'm not welcome. This year has been hard, but I realize it goes deeper. I realize, when I was told, on behalf of the churches of Pearland to give my work BACK to the church, I was sent a dark message: You aren't part of the church and we don't want your work.
So begins my next chapter of affirming self talk: Dottie, you are a vital part of the Church. God gave you the gifts you have and He is never finished with you!
My last wounding: I was called to a meeting with some pastors and I was told that they were speaking on behalf of the churches of Pearland. I was told that they would be taking over everything I was doing in Pearland: Baccalaureate, See you at the Pole, the Pearland Youth Ministry Alliance, On campus Christian Clubs Support. (Most of what I worked on has been abandoned. Also, to be fair, I have been told by many pastors: Those guys didn't speak for me.)
Fast forward. I have a teacher/Club sponsor texting me. I am begging her to let me drive an hour to meet with her. I am dying to help her with her club! It will be so exciting to brainstorm with her! I love helping Club Sponsors!
She is hesitant. I want to beg, but I don't. And then I realize I have a wound. This past year has left me feeling worthless. Like I have nothing to contribute to ministry and I want to contribute, but I'm not welcome. This year has been hard, but I realize it goes deeper. I realize, when I was told, on behalf of the churches of Pearland to give my work BACK to the church, I was sent a dark message: You aren't part of the church and we don't want your work.
So begins my next chapter of affirming self talk: Dottie, you are a vital part of the Church. God gave you the gifts you have and He is never finished with you!
Monday, July 28, 2014
Why me, Lord? Or Cookie Bakers of the World Unite!
I often ask this ridiculous question. Today, I'm asking it again. Let me explain.
Dean and I are considering joining a church. As always, my husband, Dean, fits in beautifully. As always has been, I, of course, do not fit. Somehow, as a woman, I was suppose to get spiritual gifts in the cooking and entertaining venue. Secretarial gifts would have been acceptable. If I were picking spiritual gifts, I would have pick these appropriate womanly gifts.
I get pastoral, administrative, shepherding, leadership gifts. The gifts no church ever wants in a woman, unless she wants to do women's or children's ministry. And of course, I have no interest in those areas. I feel like I don't quite fit.
Remember the joke: The gift no one wants: Celibacy? I've found another gift no woman wants.
So, I have spent years trying to bake cookies. I hate baking cookies. I want:
A couple things recently made the light come on. It's funny how God opens our eyes, isn't it? When I was searching for a job last August, the jobs I kept getting directed to were Executive Director type jobs. Huh? What was with that?
Then, the next thing, was the latest spiritual gift test I took. Administration - the gift of connecting people was at the top, but leadership, pastor, shepherding: all close behind. At this point, I wasn't surprised.
Then, the realizing that Spiritual gifts are to help the Church. The Body accomplish God's work on earth.
Then, I started asking myself the hard questions: Why was I denying my gifts? Why had I spent years trying to bake cookies? Why, when I tried to use my gifts, I got my hands slapped?
The sad thing is that I responded to what the church applauded. I watch as little boys were applauded when they quoted a verse and were told they were going to be a preacher some day.
When I quoted Psalm 119, I was told nice job - how are those cookies coming? I got more accolades for serving burnt cookies . . .
At this point in my life, I know whose applause I treasure. I know whose applause I seek. I know my creator and He is good. Somehow, in all the confusion, I floundered thru and I managed to use the gifts God gave me for the good of the Church. But, unfortunately for the Church, my gifts are seriously underdeveloped because my gifts have been unappreciated and denied for so long.
But my next issues is this: What about the next girl who gets the gifts of leadership and pastor? Will she be told to bake cookies?
Dean and I are considering joining a church. As always, my husband, Dean, fits in beautifully. As always has been, I, of course, do not fit. Somehow, as a woman, I was suppose to get spiritual gifts in the cooking and entertaining venue. Secretarial gifts would have been acceptable. If I were picking spiritual gifts, I would have pick these appropriate womanly gifts.
I get pastoral, administrative, shepherding, leadership gifts. The gifts no church ever wants in a woman, unless she wants to do women's or children's ministry. And of course, I have no interest in those areas. I feel like I don't quite fit.
Remember the joke: The gift no one wants: Celibacy? I've found another gift no woman wants.
So, I have spent years trying to bake cookies. I hate baking cookies. I want:
- to direct the cookie bakers to work together.
- to help the cookie bakers find better ingredients and cookie baking methods.
- to help the cookie bakers find a ministry that gives them an opportunity to help reach students for Christ.
- to encourage the cookie bakers to explore their gifts to the fullest and rejoice in the Giver of the gifts
- to start a cookie bakers support group and fellowship.
- to eat cookies and encourage the gift of cookie baking!
- to help compile recipes and resource the cookie bakers.
A couple things recently made the light come on. It's funny how God opens our eyes, isn't it? When I was searching for a job last August, the jobs I kept getting directed to were Executive Director type jobs. Huh? What was with that?
Then, the next thing, was the latest spiritual gift test I took. Administration - the gift of connecting people was at the top, but leadership, pastor, shepherding: all close behind. At this point, I wasn't surprised.
Then, the realizing that Spiritual gifts are to help the Church. The Body accomplish God's work on earth.
Then, I started asking myself the hard questions: Why was I denying my gifts? Why had I spent years trying to bake cookies? Why, when I tried to use my gifts, I got my hands slapped?
The sad thing is that I responded to what the church applauded. I watch as little boys were applauded when they quoted a verse and were told they were going to be a preacher some day.
When I quoted Psalm 119, I was told nice job - how are those cookies coming? I got more accolades for serving burnt cookies . . .
At this point in my life, I know whose applause I treasure. I know whose applause I seek. I know my creator and He is good. Somehow, in all the confusion, I floundered thru and I managed to use the gifts God gave me for the good of the Church. But, unfortunately for the Church, my gifts are seriously underdeveloped because my gifts have been unappreciated and denied for so long.
But my next issues is this: What about the next girl who gets the gifts of leadership and pastor? Will she be told to bake cookies?
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Cousin Connections!
This is one of those Great Stories - a God thing!
One of the guys from our church, Dave Ainsworth, went with his family to start a church in San Francisco - where there are more bars than churches.
I have a 2nd cousin that lives in San Francisco. He is a musician, a composer, an arranger. He posts youtube videos of himself playing with Dizzy Gillespie. His name is Rick Walsh and officially, I have never met him - except on Facebook and thru my extended family email circuit.
I've spoken to Dave all of probably three times, during one time, I acknowledged I had a cousin in SF. I volunteered to introduce him to Dave thru Facebook. At this point, I am not even friends with Dave on Facebook . . .
Something came up and I asked Rick to show Dave around. It was a bit out there for me, but Rick was immediately responsive. I friended Dave on FB and let the connections begin.
Rick let me know he hadn't met with Dave yet, but he would and he hadn't forgotten. Several times. I was very impressed with his follow thru.
Today, I got an email from Rick - I didn't even know he had my email . . .
One of the guys from our church, Dave Ainsworth, went with his family to start a church in San Francisco - where there are more bars than churches.
I have a 2nd cousin that lives in San Francisco. He is a musician, a composer, an arranger. He posts youtube videos of himself playing with Dizzy Gillespie. His name is Rick Walsh and officially, I have never met him - except on Facebook and thru my extended family email circuit.
I've spoken to Dave all of probably three times, during one time, I acknowledged I had a cousin in SF. I volunteered to introduce him to Dave thru Facebook. At this point, I am not even friends with Dave on Facebook . . .
Something came up and I asked Rick to show Dave around. It was a bit out there for me, but Rick was immediately responsive. I friended Dave on FB and let the connections begin.
Rick let me know he hadn't met with Dave yet, but he would and he hadn't forgotten. Several times. I was very impressed with his follow thru.
Today, I got an email from Rick - I didn't even know he had my email . . .
Hi Dottie
We had a nice lunch (I treated) at an oceanside restaurant, then I took him over to my house to show him around.
A
very nice young man with a beautiful family. He is about to attempt the
impossible; finding housing in the city of San Francisco.
Rentals are dear here.
Anyway, I thought you should know.
I will assist any way I am able, but the facts are daunting.
yours
Rick Walsh
A very nice email and an impressive follow thru! I thanked him and agreed that Dave was nice and that it was a daunting task.
Rick responded with Dave had asked how we were related and we worked on unscrambling that. He sent me a link to a nice video that sorts this out. Rick and I are 2nd cousins. We share great great grandparents - I think.
Then I got the most amazing email:
If you love Jesus, then I love you.
End of story. :)
RW
Oh, so we are brother and sister, as well as cousins! I had no idea!
Friday, May 23, 2014
On Campus Christian Club Support
One of my favorite things to do in ministry is “On Campus
Club support”. However, I find that
people don’t know what that is or why it is needed.
On Campus Christian Clubs are official school clubs that are
initiated by student interest and leadership.
In other words, the Spanish teacher can decide that he would like to do
a Spanish club. He calls a meeting,
students show up. The Spanish teacher may
even decide what activities will be done.
He can invite his students and even give them extra credit for coming to
the Spanish club. The Spanish teacher
can be very comfortable in his role as a Spanish teacher and the Spanish Club
sponsor. The roles are quite compatible.
The on campus Christian Club functions with a different set
of rules. No teacher can decide that she
would like to sponsor a Christian Club and announce that she will have meeting
in her room. She cannot decide the
topics or activities or give anyone extra credit for attending. The only thing she might be able to do is
announce that she would be interested in sponsoring a Christian Club and see if
any students follow up and ask her to be their sponsor. Maybe at the beginning of the year in her all
about your teacher talk.
It is almost like there is one set of rules for all the
other clubs on campus and whole another set of rules for the Christian
Club. When there is a meeting of faculty
for all club sponsors, the Christian Club sponsor – first of all, is likely to
not be included and if she is, she is the exception to every rule.
To start on campus Christian Club, a student has to go to
the teacher sponsor and ask if they would sponsor their Christian Club. It takes a whole another level of leadership
to start a Christian Club. Sometimes,
students think and wonder about starting a club for a while before they do anything. Can you imagine the student side? You have 5 to 7 teachers. There might be 100 teachers in your school –
Teachers would be hesitant to announce matters of faith – who would you
ask? How would you figure it out?
If you go to your principal, if she is supportive, she might
refer the student to a teacher she knows attends church. If the principal is unsupportive, she might
tell the student: Separation of Church
and State – you can’t do that here.
Principals are sometimes unsupportive for a variety of
reasons. The primary one seems to be the
potential hot bed of political correctness and possible parent complains. It is just easier for a principal to not have
a Christian Club on her campus. Or any
other controversial club for that matter:
A Satanic club, a Future Pole Dancers Club, a Pro Life Club. All of those are legally possible in our
public school system and frankly, the Christian Club will get lumped in with
this list.
On the other hand, a wise principal knows that a Christian
Club will be an asset to her school.
That this club will encourage students to do right, follow the rules,
stand up for what’s right, be good citizens.
It will encourage the kind of students she wants more of. But, a Christian Club is still risky. Those kids could want to pray before the
football game, share Jesus with their
peers, put risky words on their club flyers:
pray, bible, Christian!, pray at the flag pole!
However, an astute principal also knows who will organize
the school food drive or the clothing drive for the hurricane victims in
Haiti. She knows who will lead in the
good.
Let’s go back to our Christian Club sponsor. The Christian Club sponsor has to be asked by
the students. A school is a system where
teachers do the asking and the leading. To sponsor a Christian Club, the teacher has
to be asked by the students to be a team member: the sponsor – a necessary team member. The teacher who is use to leading now has to
let students lead. She also answers to
the principal for the conduct of the club, so she will have to maintain the
status and involvement to cancel the fundraising plan that involves mud
wrestling or other student ideas that are silly, unsavory or just downright
dangerous or ridiculous. This role as a
team member is in contrast to anything a teacher probably does on her
campus. The students have a lot more
freedom and are expected to show a lot more leadership than probably any other
place on their campus.
So, this on Campus Christian Club system is in direct
contrast to the normal operating methods for both teachers and students.
Can you see why both student leaders and club sponsors would
need some help with their roles? My
solution: On Campus Christian Club
Support. Can you see why it is needed?
Monday, May 19, 2014
25 years ago
Once upon a time, there was girls chaplain who worked with juvenile delinquent girls. She loved those girls very much and called them her "Angels". The male chaplains all thought she was a bit off and out of touch with reality.
One day, this girls chaplain sat with a girl and listened to her. This precious girl was what we would now call a victim of sex trafficking. This girl spoke of the horrors of her life as casually as you would tell me about getting a cup of coffee from Starbucks.
Because 25 years ago, we didn't talk about child sex trafficking victims. We arrested them and put them in jail. One day, sweet angel girl told said girls chaplain about her day in court as the witness to a murder. The chaplain listened to the terror, fear and horror. She held the sweet angel girl while she cried. The chaplain held those horrible things in her heart for years and wondered about the angel girl.
The chaplain remembered the angel girl's name and as time and the internet progressed, she would put the angel girls name in google. Because she wondered: how she was. Where she was.
About 2 weeks ago.
http://truthbetoldcommunity.wordpress.com/2012/07/02/daras-journey-back-inside-to-share-her-story/
She is alive and well. She is doing awesomely well.
Rejoice with me: This child who I loved is alive and well!
One day, this girls chaplain sat with a girl and listened to her. This precious girl was what we would now call a victim of sex trafficking. This girl spoke of the horrors of her life as casually as you would tell me about getting a cup of coffee from Starbucks.
Because 25 years ago, we didn't talk about child sex trafficking victims. We arrested them and put them in jail. One day, sweet angel girl told said girls chaplain about her day in court as the witness to a murder. The chaplain listened to the terror, fear and horror. She held the sweet angel girl while she cried. The chaplain held those horrible things in her heart for years and wondered about the angel girl.
The chaplain remembered the angel girl's name and as time and the internet progressed, she would put the angel girls name in google. Because she wondered: how she was. Where she was.
About 2 weeks ago.
http://truthbetoldcommunity.wordpress.com/2012/07/02/daras-journey-back-inside-to-share-her-story/
She is alive and well. She is doing awesomely well.
Rejoice with me: This child who I loved is alive and well!
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
My God Moment
I'm trying to talk about My God Moment. Crying again now. It is hard to explain that how the God of all creation and all knowing, reaches out to you and in a seeming single moment communicates more than I can write on 5 pages.
And believe me, if I wrote it, you would be lost in the fog of the background and the finer points. Your head would be swirling as you tried to keep up! Me too!
So here let me try. Start swimming. . . .
In a single moment, God showed me that our children, are being tricked by the enemy and that during the stage of life, where they are most likely to make a decision for Jesus, they are in a world that is almost untouched by the church. Their schools.
I am now on the 2nd row of my church, sobbing for students.
In a single moment, God revealed that I am His Missionary, called to schools. That I have been following Him and I have learned methods to help communities reach their schools.
I am now on the 2nd row of the my church, sobbing in awe of my God and in awe of my calling.
In a single moment, God showed me that, I was going to leave HIS calling on my life because of fear and finances and God only know how many students would be unreached because of that decision.
I am now on the 2nd row of my church sobbing for the students I so love, overwhelmed my shame and overcome by the mercy of God, who cares enough to call me back to my calling.
In a single moment, God showed me that I was wasting my life selling meaningless junk on eBay, when He had called me to help communities reach their students. Their lost, going to burn in hell students.
I am now on the 2nd row of my church, crying for students and the time I had wasted.
In a single moment, God showed me the connections between what I had done and how I was on the track to help communities reach their students.
I am now on the 2nd row of my church, crying because I know what I'm suppose to do.
And believe me, if I wrote it, you would be lost in the fog of the background and the finer points. Your head would be swirling as you tried to keep up! Me too!
So here let me try. Start swimming. . . .
In a single moment, God showed me that our children, are being tricked by the enemy and that during the stage of life, where they are most likely to make a decision for Jesus, they are in a world that is almost untouched by the church. Their schools.
I am now on the 2nd row of my church, sobbing for students.
In a single moment, God revealed that I am His Missionary, called to schools. That I have been following Him and I have learned methods to help communities reach their schools.
I am now on the 2nd row of the my church, sobbing in awe of my God and in awe of my calling.
In a single moment, God showed me that, I was going to leave HIS calling on my life because of fear and finances and God only know how many students would be unreached because of that decision.
I am now on the 2nd row of my church sobbing for the students I so love, overwhelmed my shame and overcome by the mercy of God, who cares enough to call me back to my calling.
In a single moment, God showed me that I was wasting my life selling meaningless junk on eBay, when He had called me to help communities reach their students. Their lost, going to burn in hell students.
I am now on the 2nd row of my church, crying for students and the time I had wasted.
In a single moment, God showed me the connections between what I had done and how I was on the track to help communities reach their students.
I am now on the 2nd row of my church, crying because I know what I'm suppose to do.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
The moment everything changes
I’m in McDonalds and I have 10 minutes to write this.
Sunday, I had one of those life altering experiences: this moment of clarity that changes how you see
things. At least, at this point, it
feels that way. One of those twists in
my thinking that changes everything.
For months, Dean and I have been struggling
financially. I had gone thru the sudden
closure of the ministry I had been working for, a explorative job search and
then the realization that while I could get another job, the best choice for me
and my family, was for me to stay in ministry.
For me, staying in ministry means embracing fundraising. Most ministry people do not eagerly embrace
fundraising.
Then the next curve ball was that my new ministry did not
have their official non-profit status.
So, now, I had former donors who were willing to become current donors,
but not until the tax deductible status was in place.
So much for embracing fundraising!
Several things happen. The gift
of a mobile home. A truck fire. A garage sale. A family member is moved to organize other
family members to help us. All very helpful
in helping us to make ends meet. And much appreciated!
Those struggles are significant because the financial
pressure in my life is becoming overwhelming.
I hate it when the bottom line issue is: What does it pay? What does it cost?
As things go on, I feel more and more LOST.
So here is the insight that changes everything: I am a missionary who has allowed herself to
be under prayed for and under funded.
This has caused my mission to suffer and it has nearly caused me to
leave the mission field.
On one hand, I feel this overwhelming shame: How could I have allowed this to happen? On the other, I feel this overwhelming
calling, clarity of vision, a sense of purpose, a renewed passion to help
others reach students for Christ.
The other thing God gave me in that moment was this insight
of how much I know about helping churches and communities impact their schools
for Christ! All the sudden the pieces
became clear.
And today, when people ask me how are you? I am amazed.
I am astonished that I am not glowing.
That I don’t look completely different.
In that moment, everything changed and yet, I don’t know how to talk
about it.
Monday, February 17, 2014
Celebrating the Christmas Story 2/15 Magi
Today I am celebrating the Christmas Story. I am considering the Magi's journey. There was planning and packing, mapping - All things I love. But today I am thinking about the trip down the Joseph's street. I always pictured the Magi arriving during the day, but I reread Matthew 2 and realized, if they are following the star, they must have arrived at night or the evening.
I'm sure everyone isn't into the details like I am. They arrived. That is the important thing. That is all that matters, Dottie.
But, you know arriving during the day is different than arriving at night. Arriving at night and camping out on the doorstep until morning is different than knocking on someone's door at 1 am.
I also wonder about the conversations. Like what was said between the Magi, Mary and Joseph. These guys traveled for days, weeks, months even? I would think the Magi had to have expectations building up about what you are going to find, what you want to hear or say.
I've seen the paintings that beautifully depict the giving of the gifts. Perhaps because my love language isn't gifts, I can't imagine traveling thousands of miles to drop a good size lump of frankincense in front of a toddler king that the King of his country hasn't even heard about. Finding the king the stars proclaimed in a working class neighborhood with a carpenter as a father, not being properly trained in culture and class to rule!
I just can't help but think that the Magi walked away shaking their heads and wondering why they made the trip.
I'm sure everyone isn't into the details like I am. They arrived. That is the important thing. That is all that matters, Dottie.
But, you know arriving during the day is different than arriving at night. Arriving at night and camping out on the doorstep until morning is different than knocking on someone's door at 1 am.
I also wonder about the conversations. Like what was said between the Magi, Mary and Joseph. These guys traveled for days, weeks, months even? I would think the Magi had to have expectations building up about what you are going to find, what you want to hear or say.
I've seen the paintings that beautifully depict the giving of the gifts. Perhaps because my love language isn't gifts, I can't imagine traveling thousands of miles to drop a good size lump of frankincense in front of a toddler king that the King of his country hasn't even heard about. Finding the king the stars proclaimed in a working class neighborhood with a carpenter as a father, not being properly trained in culture and class to rule!
I just can't help but think that the Magi walked away shaking their heads and wondering why they made the trip.
Friday, February 14, 2014
Still celebrating the Christmas Story - 2/14 - the journey
I am still celebrating the real Christmas story. The journey from Bethlehem to Egypt has me fascinated. Today, I am thinking about Mary and Joseph's neighbors and what they must have observed.
I have been taught that Joseph, as a carpenter, established shop in Bethlehem and worked, until it was a better time to travel for Mary. That Jesus was about 2 years old when the Magi arrived. That Joseph and family lived in a working class neighborhood.
So, this working class neighborhood watches this entourage of animals and foreigners parade down the road to Joseph's house. I can't image this was quiet or that people just continued with their tasks. When I was a kid, we all stopped and commented when we saw a car in reverse on our road - hey, it didn't take much.
Did the neighbors talk to the entourage? It's hard to imagine that the children didn't ask questions. I wonder if there was a language barrier. Did they watch the parade of gifts and watch the value of Joseph's home double? triple? Did every housewife on the street decide she was taking Mary a fresh pomegranate tomorrow, so she could hear the scoop straight from Mary?
And the next morning, Joseph's house was vacant. Except for a small pile of fresh pomegranates.
And in just a bit, all the babies were gone as well.
She refused to be comforted,
because her children are dead.” Jeremiah 31:15
Do you think the neighbors ever connected all this?
I have been taught that Joseph, as a carpenter, established shop in Bethlehem and worked, until it was a better time to travel for Mary. That Jesus was about 2 years old when the Magi arrived. That Joseph and family lived in a working class neighborhood.
So, this working class neighborhood watches this entourage of animals and foreigners parade down the road to Joseph's house. I can't image this was quiet or that people just continued with their tasks. When I was a kid, we all stopped and commented when we saw a car in reverse on our road - hey, it didn't take much.
Did the neighbors talk to the entourage? It's hard to imagine that the children didn't ask questions. I wonder if there was a language barrier. Did they watch the parade of gifts and watch the value of Joseph's home double? triple? Did every housewife on the street decide she was taking Mary a fresh pomegranate tomorrow, so she could hear the scoop straight from Mary?
And the next morning, Joseph's house was vacant. Except for a small pile of fresh pomegranates.
And in just a bit, all the babies were gone as well.
She refused to be comforted,
because her children are dead.” Jeremiah 31:15
Do you think the neighbors ever connected all this?
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Celebrating the Christmas Story 2/13 - the Journey
I am still reflecting on and celebrating the Christmas Story. The midnight, join the witness protection program, journey to Egypt has really gotten my attention. I think about how many times I have packed to make a weekend trip to visit my parents and forgotten some essential item. More than once, it has been my tooth brush. I get there and make the store run to get the essential forgotten item.
I can't imagine packing for such a essential trip: in the dark after struggling to go to sleep after such an incredible visit from the most amazing most important people you have never heard of you that could ever meet, who come and kneel before my baby boy and offered gifts of incredible value. That they traveled thousands of miles to bring to him. (and I failed to send them a shower invitation!) I would either fall asleep exhausted after all that or lay there and contemplate what it all meant. Or if Joseph was a listener, I would talk endless circles around it all, just trying to figure it all out. Sleep? Who could?
And then, just when I drifted off, Joseph would be shaking me to wake me up, rattling about nonsense, packing, dream, angels, Egypt, Herod, etc. I would be trying to remember who I am, what day it is and where am I? And WHO is this insane man telling me to pack?
Packing wasn't always so stressful for me. However, when I got a daughter who was stressed out by changes, packing and trips, who shared her stress with the entire home by melting down, screaming and arguing: All the sudden, I am arriving at my weekend destination without my tooth brush.
It is a little like having a two year old. Oh right, Mary had a two year old . . . I wonder if she got to Egypt with her tooth bush.
I can't imagine packing for such a essential trip: in the dark after struggling to go to sleep after such an incredible visit from the most amazing most important people you have never heard of you that could ever meet, who come and kneel before my baby boy and offered gifts of incredible value. That they traveled thousands of miles to bring to him. (and I failed to send them a shower invitation!) I would either fall asleep exhausted after all that or lay there and contemplate what it all meant. Or if Joseph was a listener, I would talk endless circles around it all, just trying to figure it all out. Sleep? Who could?
And then, just when I drifted off, Joseph would be shaking me to wake me up, rattling about nonsense, packing, dream, angels, Egypt, Herod, etc. I would be trying to remember who I am, what day it is and where am I? And WHO is this insane man telling me to pack?
Packing wasn't always so stressful for me. However, when I got a daughter who was stressed out by changes, packing and trips, who shared her stress with the entire home by melting down, screaming and arguing: All the sudden, I am arriving at my weekend destination without my tooth brush.
It is a little like having a two year old. Oh right, Mary had a two year old . . . I wonder if she got to Egypt with her tooth bush.
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Celebrating the Christmas Story 2/12
Today, I am still celebrating the Real Christmas Story. I am celebrating the journey from Bethlehem to Egypt, made in the middle of the night. Joseph has an Angelic Dream and takes the family to Egypt immediately. I search the internet for random bits of information: How far from Bethlehem to Egypt? about 200 miles. I reread the Matthew 2:9 - 23 again and wonder. About the star the Magi followed and how they followed it to where it stopped: at Joseph's home. I read about how the Magi had their own Angelic visit and were also obedient and left a different way. I notice how an angel visit seems to prompt immediate obedience from the Magi, the shepherds and Joseph. This is Joseph's second dream where an angel appeared to him.
I think about the journey 200+/- miles with no planning. Perhaps they were living out of suitcases already, but the planner in me feels this sense of overwhelming dread. (I need toothpaste, shampoo, dental floss - how many days again until we pass a store? Is the Visa paid up? perhaps a new tooth brush and cash. A major bank withdrawal.)
200 miles equals a journey of 10 days at 20 miles a day. With a 2 year old . . . How do strollers work in miles of sand?
This journey has taken on a whole different meaning for me. Now that I have counted the cost, I think I'm going back to bed. Maybe the Angelic visit makes all the difference in the world. Maybe being in utter terror for your life and the life of your child does it.
I think about the journey 200+/- miles with no planning. Perhaps they were living out of suitcases already, but the planner in me feels this sense of overwhelming dread. (I need toothpaste, shampoo, dental floss - how many days again until we pass a store? Is the Visa paid up? perhaps a new tooth brush and cash. A major bank withdrawal.)
200 miles equals a journey of 10 days at 20 miles a day. With a 2 year old . . . How do strollers work in miles of sand?
This journey has taken on a whole different meaning for me. Now that I have counted the cost, I think I'm going back to bed. Maybe the Angelic visit makes all the difference in the world. Maybe being in utter terror for your life and the life of your child does it.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Still celebrating the Christmas Story 2/11/14
The Christmas Story is worth celebrating and I am still celebrating it! Today, I am celebrating the instant obedience of Joseph after the visit of the Magi. Joseph joined the witness protection program and left for Egypt in the middle of the night. When I reflect on this story, what strikes me is the instantaneous obedience.
Wouldn't it have been good enough to leave in the morning? What did the neighbors think when the Magi parade in one night and the whole family is gone in the morning?
But for me, it is the pressing question of could you, would you in the middle of the night obey? Leave it all.
Matt. 2:13 After they left, an angel of the Lord came to Joseph in a dream and said, “Get up! Take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt, because Herod is starting to look for the child so he can kill him. Stay in Egypt until I tell you to return.”
14 So Joseph got up and left for Egypt during the night with the child and his mother. 15 And Joseph stayed in Egypt until Herod died. This happened to bring about what the Lord had said through the prophet: “I called my son out of Egypt.”[a]
Wouldn't it have been good enough to leave in the morning? What did the neighbors think when the Magi parade in one night and the whole family is gone in the morning?
But for me, it is the pressing question of could you, would you in the middle of the night obey? Leave it all.
Matt. 2:13 After they left, an angel of the Lord came to Joseph in a dream and said, “Get up! Take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt, because Herod is starting to look for the child so he can kill him. Stay in Egypt until I tell you to return.”
14 So Joseph got up and left for Egypt during the night with the child and his mother. 15 And Joseph stayed in Egypt until Herod died. This happened to bring about what the Lord had said through the prophet: “I called my son out of Egypt.”[a]
Monday, February 3, 2014
Still Celebrating the Christmas Story 2/2
I am still celebrating the Christmas Story! This was supposed to be written and posted yesterday, but you know, life happens. Yesterday, had Jesus really been born on 12/25, which is unlikely, Yesterday is the day that Mary and Joseph would have taken him to the temple and presented him to the Lord. This is the day they would have also offered the sacrifice of two doves or 2 young pigeons. If Mary worked outside the home and had the traditional 6 week maternity leave, it is about time to go back to work.
Baby Jesus would be spending more time awake. Mary is probably very tired. Mary and Joseph are figuring out their daily lives. Joseph is ready for a honeymoon.
Where are you with the Christmas story? It's been 41 days since the official celebration. How far are you from "normal"? How far are you from the real Christmas story?
Luke 2:22 When the time came for Mary and Joseph to do what the law of Moses taught about being made pure,[d] they took Jesus to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord. 23 (It is written in the law of the Lord: “Every firstborn male shall be given to the Lord.”)[e] 24 Mary and Joseph also went to offer a sacrifice, as the law of the Lord says: “You must sacrifice two doves or two young pigeons.”[f]
Friday, January 31, 2014
Christian Club Sponsors
I work with on campus Christian Club Sponsors. They are some of the greatest people. They see their jobs as a ministry opportunity
and they put the extra time and effort in to it to do the ministry aspect. In general, this is above and beyond their
job description and they often receive no praise for their Christian Club work
and often may be criticized for their efforts.
In some cases, they are criticized by their church and/or the local
youth ministry community.
Part of what I do is to appreciate their work and effort and
praise them for it. Part of what I do it
to make suggestions to do it better.
Much of what I do is to listen.
One of the sponsors I work with does so much spiritual good
for her campus. She sponsors the
Christian club and does a great job developing her student leaders. She also organizes a faculty prayer
gathering. I think from the heavenly
kingdom perspective, she must be a mighty warrior. But she often feels alone, hopeless and
discouraged. A little like Elijah,
afraid in the cave after slaughtering the prophets of Baal. (I Kings 19) Mighty acts, but even the best of warriors
gets discouraged.
So I remind her of what a great job she is doing. How she is impacting the lives of those
student leaders, the lives of students and faculty and how she is impacting her
campus spiritually. She always responses
with astonishment, like this is amazing and she has never considered this.
Your financial gifts make it possible to provide great
services to these unsung heroes. Thank
you so much. Youthworkers Support Network, P.O. Box 262321, Houston, TX 77207
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
The artistry of Networking for the Kingdom
I am fascinated by the artwork of snow artist Simon Beck. He tramps in the snow for miles, making patterns that are visible from the air. His art takes hours to produce. It disappears with the next snow fall. You can see them here: http://www.viralnova.com/simon-beck-snow-art/
There is another artist that does this on the beach: Andres Amador. He rakes the sand on the beach during low tide, creating patterns that are washed away when the tide comes in. You can view his work here: http://www.andresamadorarts.com/
These men both have sites on Facebook and you can like their pages there.
I do much in the area of ministry networks and sometimes, I feel like an artist of low tide. The artworks are grand, beautiful, complex, Godly, intrinsic, Kingdom minded. It's almost like the artistry of the heavens and I can feel the pleasure of God in my workings.
The artwork is beautiful and symmetrical from God's perspective. The word "fragrant" comes to mind, because it truly is an offering.
It takes a heavenly perspective to see the artistry and not everyone in ministry or who works for a church has this heavenly, kingdom perspective. Many lay people who have this kingdom perspective have it smashed by their pastors. The tide just came in and the artwork is wash away.
Because this "tide" is usually an attack on the artist: "She doesn't work for a church." "Our church is doing way more important things than drawing the sand." "She is a woman. God directs thru men."
The tide comes in and I start again.
There is another artist that does this on the beach: Andres Amador. He rakes the sand on the beach during low tide, creating patterns that are washed away when the tide comes in. You can view his work here: http://www.andresamadorarts.com/
These men both have sites on Facebook and you can like their pages there.
I do much in the area of ministry networks and sometimes, I feel like an artist of low tide. The artworks are grand, beautiful, complex, Godly, intrinsic, Kingdom minded. It's almost like the artistry of the heavens and I can feel the pleasure of God in my workings.
The artwork is beautiful and symmetrical from God's perspective. The word "fragrant" comes to mind, because it truly is an offering.
It takes a heavenly perspective to see the artistry and not everyone in ministry or who works for a church has this heavenly, kingdom perspective. Many lay people who have this kingdom perspective have it smashed by their pastors. The tide just came in and the artwork is wash away.
Because this "tide" is usually an attack on the artist: "She doesn't work for a church." "Our church is doing way more important things than drawing the sand." "She is a woman. God directs thru men."
The tide comes in and I start again.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Celebrating the Christmas Story 1/25
I am still celebrating the Christmas Story. It is a story of wonder and magic and miracles and I don't want to forget the wonder of it!
Today, I am still moved to tears that "all the mess that is me" is His favorite Christmas gift ever. Not gold, frankincense or myrrh. ME!
Amazing and worth celebrating everyday!
Today, I am still moved to tears that "all the mess that is me" is His favorite Christmas gift ever. Not gold, frankincense or myrrh. ME!
Amazing and worth celebrating everyday!
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Celebrating the Christmas Story 1/19
Today, I'm celebrating the Christmas Story. Well sort of. Today, is sanctity of Life Sunday. This is the day we remember the slaughter of the unborn.
Today I am remembering the loss of infants, male, 2 years old and under that were slaughtered in Bethlehem. As Bethlehem grieves, we grieve.
Matthew 2:16 When Herod saw that the wise men had tricked him, he was furious. So he gave an order to kill all the baby boys in Bethlehem and in the surrounding area who were two years old or younger. This was in keeping with the time he learned from the wise men. 17 So what God had said through the prophet Jeremiah came true:
Today I am remembering the loss of infants, male, 2 years old and under that were slaughtered in Bethlehem. As Bethlehem grieves, we grieve.
Matthew 2:16 When Herod saw that the wise men had tricked him, he was furious. So he gave an order to kill all the baby boys in Bethlehem and in the surrounding area who were two years old or younger. This was in keeping with the time he learned from the wise men. 17 So what God had said through the prophet Jeremiah came true:
18 “A voice was heard in Ramah
of painful crying and deep sadness:
Rachel crying for her children.
She refused to be comforted, because her children are dead.” Jeremiah 31:15
of painful crying and deep sadness:
Rachel crying for her children.
She refused to be comforted, because her children are dead.” Jeremiah 31:15
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Celebrating the Christmas story 1/9
I'm still celebrating the Christmas Story. Today, I am continuing with Joseph because Allie feels like he is so underestimated and uncelebrated.
The next thing Allie points out is that as soon as Jesus was born, she is surprised Joseph doesn't leave.
So, today, I'm celebrating staying put, as in being faithful. Not leaving when the bad times come or the baby doesn't look like you. He looks like God.
The next thing Allie points out is that as soon as Jesus was born, she is surprised Joseph doesn't leave.
So, today, I'm celebrating staying put, as in being faithful. Not leaving when the bad times come or the baby doesn't look like you. He looks like God.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Celebrating the Christmas Story 1/8
I am still celebrating the Christmas Story, bit by bit, one miracle, one fascinating character at a time, each worthy of it's only celebration.
My daughter, who doesn't read this anyway, feels like there has not been enough celebration of Joseph. So I asked her what she thought should be celebrated. So here it is:
Mary was pregnant. Joseph was planning to write a private Dear John letter to Mary. And he has a dream in which an angel appears to him. It is so powerful of a dream that he that he is immediately obedient, to the extend that it says: When he woke up. Talk about a shot gun wedding.
I've had dreams that I think God was speaking to me, but I don't think I've ever made life changing decisions based on a dream. Joseph did. Have you ever had a dream so powerful that you changed your mind about something?
Celebrating the power of dreams that God uses to move us!
Matthew 1:20 While Joseph thought about these things, an angel of the Lord came to him in a dream. The angel said, “Joseph, descendant of David, don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because the baby in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus,[e] because he will save his people from their sins.”
22 All this happened to bring about what the Lord had said through the prophet: 23 “The virgin will be pregnant. She will have a son, and they will name him Immanuel,”[f] which means “God is with us.”
24 When Joseph woke up, he did what the Lord’s angel had told him to do. Joseph took Mary as his wife, 25 but he did not have sexual relations with her until she gave birth to the son. And Joseph named him Jesus.
My daughter, who doesn't read this anyway, feels like there has not been enough celebration of Joseph. So I asked her what she thought should be celebrated. So here it is:
Mary was pregnant. Joseph was planning to write a private Dear John letter to Mary. And he has a dream in which an angel appears to him. It is so powerful of a dream that he that he is immediately obedient, to the extend that it says: When he woke up. Talk about a shot gun wedding.
I've had dreams that I think God was speaking to me, but I don't think I've ever made life changing decisions based on a dream. Joseph did. Have you ever had a dream so powerful that you changed your mind about something?
Celebrating the power of dreams that God uses to move us!
Matthew 1:20 While Joseph thought about these things, an angel of the Lord came to him in a dream. The angel said, “Joseph, descendant of David, don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because the baby in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus,[e] because he will save his people from their sins.”
22 All this happened to bring about what the Lord had said through the prophet: 23 “The virgin will be pregnant. She will have a son, and they will name him Immanuel,”[f] which means “God is with us.”
24 When Joseph woke up, he did what the Lord’s angel had told him to do. Joseph took Mary as his wife, 25 but he did not have sexual relations with her until she gave birth to the son. And Joseph named him Jesus.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Still Celebrating the Christmas Story 1/7
I am still celebrating the Christmas story! I've had a rough complete of days - My husband's truck caught fire on my birthday. It is totally destroyed and that leaves us as a one vehicle family, without the funds to replace that vehicle.
But - I am back on track and I am still celebrating the Christmas Story! There has been much to reflect on in the stories of the Kings and the shepherds. The contrasts have stood out to me between those two groups and today I want to celebrate the Shepherds, who came immediately and empty handed.
I love planning a good event and I am good at it. That's the way God made me. I appreciate the preparedness of the Kings and the planning that went into their journey.
But, Today, I feel like a shepherd. Poor, trapped, empty handed, but I want to come immediately. How about you? Are you ready to go to the King of Kings immediately and empty handed?
But - I am back on track and I am still celebrating the Christmas Story! There has been much to reflect on in the stories of the Kings and the shepherds. The contrasts have stood out to me between those two groups and today I want to celebrate the Shepherds, who came immediately and empty handed.
I love planning a good event and I am good at it. That's the way God made me. I appreciate the preparedness of the Kings and the planning that went into their journey.
But, Today, I feel like a shepherd. Poor, trapped, empty handed, but I want to come immediately. How about you? Are you ready to go to the King of Kings immediately and empty handed?
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Celebrating the the Christmas Story 1/3
I am still celebrating the Christmas Story! Today, is my birthday. It is also the day Baby Jesus would have been circumcised and named "Jesus" had He truly been born on 12/25. I will never look at my birthday the same.
Luke 2:21 When the baby was eight days old, he was circumcised and was named Jesus, the name given by the angel before the baby began to grow inside Mary.
Luke 2:21 When the baby was eight days old, he was circumcised and was named Jesus, the name given by the angel before the baby began to grow inside Mary.
Still Celebrating the Christmas Story 1/2
I am still celebrating the Christmas Story!
Today, I am reflecting on the journey of the shepherds vs. the Kings. I think there are profound messages in these two examples of the rich and the poor. The shepherds received the angelic announcement and left immediately for Bethlehem. Of course, the shepherds were already in Bethlehem. The Kings arrived later - scholars estimate that Jesus was 2 when they arrived. I don't pretend to know how long they studied the star/stars or consulted their experts before they left. It was a lengthy journey, so there were supplies to prepare. The shepherds traveled that very night - in the darkness. And the Kings took many days to make the journey.
I write this and I wonder many things: Were there others who received the announcement - whether by angels or by stars - who didn't make the journey to see the new King?
It is a time to be thankful for our own journey to the King - whether by stars or angelic announcement. I have made the journey and it is worth it when I see the King.
Today, I am reflecting on the journey of the shepherds vs. the Kings. I think there are profound messages in these two examples of the rich and the poor. The shepherds received the angelic announcement and left immediately for Bethlehem. Of course, the shepherds were already in Bethlehem. The Kings arrived later - scholars estimate that Jesus was 2 when they arrived. I don't pretend to know how long they studied the star/stars or consulted their experts before they left. It was a lengthy journey, so there were supplies to prepare. The shepherds traveled that very night - in the darkness. And the Kings took many days to make the journey.
I write this and I wonder many things: Were there others who received the announcement - whether by angels or by stars - who didn't make the journey to see the new King?
It is a time to be thankful for our own journey to the King - whether by stars or angelic announcement. I have made the journey and it is worth it when I see the King.
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