Baccalaureate: The final post

If you have been following my blog, you know that for the past 12 years, I have chaired the Baccalaureate Committee. This year, in December, I was called to meeting with 2 pastors, a youth pastor and several others who had issues with me. I didn't know the agenda of the meeting: I just knew that everyone who had issues with me were going to be together in one room – against me.

The bottom line was that they wanted Baccalaureate. They never talked to me or asked me any questions. I was discussed, but I was never included the discussions: they were all behind my back. I think that is called gossip.

Baccalaureate is this Sunday. There are no signs at the schools. There have been no announcements, nothing on the marquees. There are 61 likes on the facebook page for both schools. (Last year at this time, we had 69 for PHS and 44 for DHS.)

Over my 12 years as Baccalaureate chairperson, I had scores of files. Lots of data. For instance, I know which church was the largest donor to Baccalaureate and I know their pastor was not invited to the meeting, did not approve of the decision or how it was handled. But of course, this pastor participated in Baccalaureate: His church gave. He had a committee member. His church prayed for Baccalaureate. His church hosted a table every year.

I know that the pastors who led in this decision: Their churches ranked 6^th and 19^th (out of 22) in Baccalaureate giving. I know that 6^th was only 6^th because of a large gift last year: that single gift moved them from 12^th to 6^th and more than doubled their previous Baccalaureate giving. Neither church had been part of the Baccalaureate committee. 19 had never even hosted a table. And, of course, the #1 donor to Baccalaureate wasn't even invited to the meeting.

For 12 years, Baccalaureate was my baby – I treasured it, protected it, promoted, nurtured it and kept it alive and going forward. When it was threaten, I responded. When people talked about canceling it, I promoted it. I thought it was the most under used way to impact a graduating class. My children joke: My first word was Baccalaureate – what was yours? We lived Baccalaureate at my house.

Baccalaureate is Sunday. I have been advised not to go. The thought is that I have been in charge and responsible for so many years that people will still think I am responsible.

It is always difficult to be fired. It is more difficult when you did an excellent job and worked for free. Unless something happens, this will probably be my last post on Baccalaureate. I will focus on my healing.

What if God is protecting me?

If you follow this blog at all, you know that I have been thru some terrible shunning and exclusion at the hands of one particular youth pastor – let's call him Skippy. That what my boss calls him. . .

I had a turning point on Saturday morning. I was concerned about my talk to Garden Road – I was speaking for their Woman's Tea that day at 11:30 am. I was thinking about how terrible and underhanded that Skippy was being to me. I always have to juggle what I am going to say and not say. I'm thinking about how angry I am that the guys who are my friends have not stood up to Skippy for what is right. In that small still voice, God pointed out that if Skippy had included me, because my priority is community and working together, I would be there, trying my best to work together. He pointed out that I have reason to believe that Skippy might have some serious mental/ego issues, but that I would still be there, part of the group, trying to work together. I acknowledged that God was totally right. Then, He asked me a question: What if I'm protecting you?

All the sudden, I could see it. I could see that I would be trying my best to work in a horrible situation and I became so thankful that God is protecting me. I can't even tell you. I'm rejoicing. God is protecting me!

1984: An unsent Ministry Letter from April 2008

While clearing out files, I found this and I thought it was so good, I decided to post it.

Dear Friends,

1984.

I know it is the title of a book, but it is also the year I did the same thing I'm doing now. Not changing jobs, but changing the organization I serve under. On January 1, 1984, I transferred from Camp Peniel to Youth for Christ. On April 1, 2008, I transfer from Youth for Christ to Cross in the City.

On January 18, 1981, I spent my first Sunday at the Harris County Youth Village. I was an intern student from University of Houston – Majoring in Human Development and family studies. My atheistic professor had recommended I do my internship with a "religious organization."

During April 1981, I went on staff of Camp Peniel as the part time girls' Chaplain at the Harris County Youth Village. The Youth Village was a long term placement of the Harris County Juvenile Probation Department.

During the years from 1981 until December 31, 1983, I graduated from U of H, married Mark Cooper and served as the Girls' Chaplain at the Youth Village. I looked so young and I was so confused about my role, I was often mistaken for a resident. I remember that one staff yelled at me, saying "Did you do your job?" I answered "I sure hope so."

My salary was whatever came in that month, which was suppose to average to about $600 a month.

On January 1, 1984, I joined the Staff of Youth for Christ. Because Youth for Christ was serving delinquents at the Harris County Juvenile Detention Center, I became the Protestant Girls' Chaplain at the Juvenile Detention Center, while continuing as the Girls' Chaplain at the Harris County Youth Village.

My salary was $1050 per month.

During this Chapter, I taught Sunday School at the Youth Village, I lead discussion groups at the Detention Center. I lead singing at the Youth Village and I lead the Sunday afternoon Chapel Services at the Detention Center.

I wrote Bible story plays for the students at the Youth Village – Rahab and Jonah and I directed the students in the plays.

I started visiting girls who were adjudicated and put the county jail. One time, I showed my driver's license and the guard's face clouded. He came out from the booth and said "Come with me." Not a good thing for a visiting Chaplain. We went in an office and spoke to another person. "Let us clear this up. There is a warrant for your arrest." Somehow, they cleared it up and I got my driver's license back.

On March 12, 1987 my first child, a daughter, Jessa was born. Jessa changed my life. I couldn't take her to the jail! But I could take her to the Youth Village and the Detention Center. Sometimes, Mark and I would meet at a store on his way home from work and I would give him Jessa and go back to work.

During the time after Jessa's birth, we started doing Vacation Bible School in institutions with juvenile delinquents. I would write curriculum for various TBS – for Take a Bold Step. We – staff and volunteers would spend a week showing Christian Music Videos and doing crafts and teaching Bible stories to gang kids. It was amazing, watching these kids from various gangs coloring and enjoying popsicles.

During the closing of the YFC office, I had 6 boxes that I had to go thru. Those boxes were like time capsules. I would open them and find all my CADAC – Certified Drug and Alcohol abuse Counselor paper work. I did all the classes, but I didn't finish the practicum. I would find a copy of the Teen Mom's hand book and a paper chain – remember Jessa was my traveling buddy, so she would amusing herself at the office. A ream of fluorescent paper and Jessa's paper doll cut outs. And letters from my early Youth Village girls. Girls who must be in their late 30's and early 40's.

As I go thru the boxes, I start to wonder: how many kids' lives has God used me to touch? It's impossible to know, but I wonder . . . 50 a year for '81 – '83 and 100 a year for '84 – '95. No wonder those years are a blur. 1050?

On September 14, 1990, I received a phone call from a Pearland High School Senior, Brandon Russell. It was a life changing phone call for me, although I didn't know it at the time. Brandon was looking for someone else, but he got me. Brandon was concerned because even though his school just had 300+ students show up for the first ever See you at the Pole, the only Christian Club they had was FCA. And he thought they should have a Christian Club – if they had that many show up for See you at the Pole.

I lived in Alvin – a town near by Pearland. I offered to meet with him and help him. After years of working with juvenile delinquents, I now was working with National Honor Society students who wanted to see their campus on fire for Christ. I spent many of these years feeling like I had one foot on either side of the tracks.

From 1990 until 2004, that program grew from a low of 3 kids to almost 500 kids a week on 2 campuses. I always encourage kids to make the phone call. Who knows what God will bring out of that phone call?

On June 16, 1995, I gave birth to my second child – Allie Jean Cooper. At that point, I stopped doing the Sunday Morning services at the Harris County Youth Village. For over 14 years, my Sunday mornings had been spent doing church with the juvenile delinquents – not exactly a traditional Sunday morning experience.

In August of 2000, John Butler, my supervisor and mentor, received a letter from Harris County Juvenile Probation Department terminating our services. John ask some questions and got us and additional 3 weeks, but still that final Sunday and Monday, I walked thru the units, openly weeping. I was so distraught. After nearly 20 years of playing the guitar for those kids, I have never picked up the guitar again. I guess it is my silent protest.

Mark was also sent home from his job during this time due to a diagnosis of cardiomyopathy. In May of 2001, he was terminated.

In August 2001, I found out my life insurance on Mark was being canceled. Youth for Christ continued to bill us for the insurance, but it had been gone since 1998. Mark was now uninsurable due to his heart condition. (They eventually reinstated his life insurance, but at a lower amount than I had been paying for.)

Mark died December 2, 2002, leaving me with 2 daughters, ages 15 and 7.

Pizza@Lunch was closed down in October 2004. It took until March 2005 to get a final decision.

I married William Dean Hinesley on 7/16/05 and gained a new husband and a 4 year old step daughter, Taylor.

And that brings me to today. When God made it clear I was to continue in Pearland, where my contacts and connections were, I made plans to restart the Pearland Youth Ministry Alliance. In the fall of 2006, when I discovered there wasn't but one Christian Club in the Pearland middle, junior highs and High School, I started asking things like how can we make Pearland "Christian Club Friendly." What can we do to support any Christian Club that starts? What can we do to insure that those clubs continue and don't die out? How can those clubs be connected to the local churches?

So, today, I work with Christian Club Teachers. I am part of a team that supplies Snacks to any Christian Club – as often as possible. I connect the clubs to the community by asking local youth pastors to speak at the clubs. I research and discover available Club materials. If need be, I write materials for Christian Clubs. I plan events to bring the clubs together. Sometimes, I speak.

I am often heard saying "I don't know anyone who has ever done this before." Maybe there is someone some place . . . I would love to meet them and exchange ideas.

I still need people. People who will collect and deliver snacks. I still need people who will help with some fundraisers. My salary is currently about $450 a month.

 

 

Baccalaureate: Closing the Doors

I am bringing closure to my Baccalaureate Chapter. The letters went out last week as well as all the certificates of appreciation. What follows is the letter I sent out and the 5 people I chose to honor with Certificates of Appreciation. I have chosen to post the Cross in the City letter as a sample. The letters were personalized to the giving churches.

April 28, 2011

Dear Cross in the City,

Thank you for your support of Pearland's Baccalaureate Services from 1999 to 2010. It has been privilege to be the Baccalaureate Chairperson. Over the 12 years, your organization contributed $1150 to Baccalaureate. Thank you for allowing your staff to serve as the Committee Chair person, a gift that over the years in uncompensated time was equivalent to over $100,000!

During my tenure as Baccalaureate Chair, the Baccalaureate Leadership Committee took Pearland's Baccalaureate to a new level. Our Baccalaureate Services were the best in the area: I know, I loved to do field trips to other school's baccalaureate services. On February 19, the former Baccalaureate Committee got together one last time and we celebrated the work God allowed us to do and this included the following:

We did 13 (2 in 2010) great Baccalaureate services that impacted the lives and families of about 1000+ students. (Our lowest attendance was 65 (2009) and our highest was 143.)

We came up with a committee structure that allow for all churches to be represented.

We did a unique service for each graduating class, searching for unique students that had gifts that we could utilize in the Baccalaureate service. Each year we fine tuned the service adding power point, worship, student testimonies, student led prayer, a prayer team.

We added a reception in 2000 and gifts to the graduates in 2002. We added the gift t-shirts in 2004 and the logo in 2003

We worked with anyone who wanted to help with Baccalaureate.

Regretfully, I am no longer responsible or involved in Pearland's Baccalaureates in any way. In many ways, I'm sorry to see this door closed. It has been a privilege to serve this way: it has been the source of much growth and many challenges.

Thank you for your continued support.

Dottie Cooper Hinesley

Because this is the end of some long term working relationships that revolved around Baccalaureate, I have considered my 12 years of service leadership and I have chosen people to present with Certificates of Appreciation for their Service to Baccalaureate.

Vicki Frame of Garden Road Baptist Church. Vicki coordinated the reception starting with the 2000 Baccalaureate service and she joined the Baccalaureate Leadership Committee reluctantly. She did an outstanding job on the reception and became an outstanding committee member. She has an excellent memory of what we tried and what worked and didn't work. She is extremely logical and could think thru the ramifications of potential decisions. She could also think thru the issues of leadership and logistics with amazing clarity. During the her last year on the committee, Vicki also coordinated the environment team, which included reception, decorations, ushers and pre-show for the graduates.

Mike Cotter of Southway Community Church. Mike was a great committee member and asset to the team. Mike joined the Committee in 2007. As a safety engineer, Mike brought a unique perspective to the Baccalaureate Committee. Mike was good at filling in the gaps: asking questions no one thought to ask and researching things he notice. He brought his camera to our tour of Dawson HS and to the Manvel Baccalaureate service. In 2010, Mike researched the suggested speaker and the new version of Pomp and Circumstance that was being used and had his own set of questions that were based on his research. Mike was also our only male long term committee member.

Nancy Pridgen of 1^st United Methodist Church of Pearland. Nancy joined the Committee in 2002. Her primary focus was on printed materials and advertising. She did a wonderful job involving her fellow church members in Baccalaureate. Nancy also coordinated with our graphic artist, participated in the choosing of logo and the phrase: The blessing of the Graduates. Nancy held a strong belief in Baccalaureate and the value of what we were doing. Nancy also suggested the design for the back of the t-shirt.

The following 2 are PISD employees or former employees.

Anita Holmes of 1^st Baptist Church of Pearland. I believe Anita Holmes is called by God to be the receptionist for Pearland High School. She is a wonderful asset to the Christian community in that position. Anita has used that position to be helpful to the cause of Baccalaureate in ways that are too numerous to be named here. Anita also knew the students and was able to suggest and confirm possible names for testimonies.

Darlene Woods of New Harvest Christian Fellowship Church. Darlene Woods was the former Senior Class Secretary. She was wonderful at her job and another person that I believe God positioned for His purposes. She used that position to advocate for Baccalaureate in several ways. She was eyes and ears, letting me know pertinent information, like when Balfour would be on campus. She also knew the students and would recommend or confirm the names of students who were known for walking the walk and talking the talk on campus.

Lauren: Full Circle

Lauren Partridge. It's a name that you may or may not know.

Let me take you full circle. Around 1990, a teacher named Glenda Dawson was part of starting some Christian Activities at her school: Pearland High School. There were several other teachers: Linda Theusen, Annette Lowe, Mrs. Juul and of course, me. And a student: Brandon. Together, we started a morning CSU – Christian Student Union – a Christian Club at Pearland High School and Pizza@Lunch – the outreach branch. I loved Pizza@Lunch – it was a lunch time on campus program. I did Pizza@Lunch at Pearland High School for 14 years. We eventually expanded to the 9^th Grade Center as well, doing 2 schools and about 500 students each week!

Fast forward several years. Glenda Dawson tells me that her granddaughter is coming to Pearland High School and she is so hoping that Lauren will attend Pizza@Lunch. I tell Glenda I will pray for Lauren and I will look for her.

Just as a note, Glenda always told me that starting "Youth for Christ" at Pearland High School was one of the things she was most proud of in her life. When she ran for state representative, it was in her bio.

Lauren did attend Pizza@Lunch. She was part of the "Upside" movement. Upside was this wonderful student lead, Saturday night worship service at the Y. It went on for about 6 months – around 2000 or 2001, but it was a tremendous part of our community. What an addition!

A few weeks ago, Ms. Partridge came over to me. "Do you remember me?" I'm thinking: of course, how could I forget? I told her I thought it was so cool that she was teaching at the school that bore her Grandmother's name. And she told me that she thought it was neat that I was still involved in student ministry in Pearland.

Me too.

I also thought it was cool that a former student was still growing and shining for Jesus, involved with students as a teacher and as a leader.

While I’m Waiting

I'm waiting on the Lord right now: to lead, guide, direct.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7TSGptd3Y

While I'm Waiting  by John Waller

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Reflections on being ordained

It is odd. I think I should feel more, but I don't. I guess it is because having my calling recognized, didn't change me or who I am or what I do. It just affirmed it.

First of all, I'm so glad I chose to celebrate 30 years in ministry. It is a milestone and it is worth celebrating. It has been bittersweet: I'm so glad I celebrated 30 years and so sorry I didn't celebrate 20 or 25 years of ministry or 14 years of Pizza@Lunch or 20 years as a chaplain with juvenile delinquents – why didn't I celebrate all that? I don't want to miss another chance of celebrating anything that God is letting me a part of Him doing!

Second of all, Linda and Jim Petter and their worship team from Real Life Ministries were wonderful! They must have brought 10 people with them. I felt so blessed by their encouragement and support! Thank you so much for being such a wonderful part of my day! Pastor Mike Hogg's prayer for me after their first song moved me to tears.

The reception afterwards was wonderful as well. Vicki Frame and her daughter, Heather did a wonderful job. The place looked beautiful. I think the Cross in the City staff saw great potential in that room after what Vicki did to it.

My husband, Dean was thrilled and I think my parents think I have finally done something with myself!

Dean is having a great time, introducing me as his wife, the Reverend Dottie Cooper Hinesley.

The thing that has struck me over and over again is that I can see how being ordained – having my calling recognized and celebrated would have meant the world to me in my 20's and 30's. In my 50's, it tends to feel like it was an oversight, something I should have taken care of several years ago.

I guess, I'm glad I've finally taken care of this!

Thank you for celebrating my calling and 30 years of ministry with me!

Baptized . . . in the Jordan River

Today, I was baptized in the Jordan River.

Israel was amazing! It was amazing to be in this river, where who knows how many followers of Jesus have been baptized or re-baptized.

The Shunning – Pearland Style

I have been thinking about the ostracism and exclusion that I have been going thru and I have realized it is really a shunning.

From what I understand, a shunning is primarily an Amish practice. When children come of age and don't join the church or someone breaks the rules of the church, they are "shunned" – no one is to have any contact with them. If you are shunned and speak to someone, they don't respond or even act like you have spoken. The books I have read indicate it is just like you are not there. That's what this feels like to me.

If you know me, if you work with me, then you know I am all about working together. For years, I have tried to encouraged unity and community in Pearland. I organized a youth ministry alliance and tried to encouraged youth pastors and youth ministry professionals to get to know each other, build relationships and hopefully, develop a vision that included working together. I participated in anything that even had the hint of a coming together, including the former Pearland Ministerial Alliance, any youth ministry function that was community wide and of course, my beloved Baccalaureate. And of course, my support of on campus Christian Clubs, with snacks, speakers and curriculum. And if you like you can go even further back, to the on campus lunch time program I organized and operated for years, inviting in various youth pastors and pastors, encouraging students to connect with a local church.

After I handed over the leadership of the Pearland Youth Ministry Alliance in March 2010, it became the Pearland Student Pastors Alliance and was only open to church youth pastors, not ministry professionals. This was my first shunning experience.

The second was that the PSPA took over Baccalaureate, See you at the Pole and the club ministry I was doing. There were no conversations, it was just done. There were some hold outs – some sponsors who still wanted me to be involved with their club.

This is from Wikipedia:

Shunning can be broken down into behaviours and practices that seek to accomplish either or both of two primary goals.

1. To modify the behaviour of a member. This approach seeks to influence, encourage, or coerce normative behaviours from members, and may seek to dissuade, provide disincentives for, or to compel avoidance of certain behaviours. Shunning may include disassociating from a member by other members of the community who are in good standing. It may include more antagonistic psychological behaviours (described below). This approach may be seen as either corrective or punitive (or both) by the group membership or leadership, and may also be intended as a deterrent.
   
2. To remove or limit the influence of a member (or former member) over other members in a community. This approach may seek to isolate, to discredit, or otherwise dis-empower such a member, often in the context of actions or positions advocated by that member. For groups with defined membership criteria, especially based on key behaviours or ideological precepts, this approach may be seen as limiting damage to the community or its leadership. This is often paired with some form of excommunication.
   

Since I am all about working together and community, it has been like they have taken my life's blood. My entire purpose, my either life's work has been taken from me. The project I put my heart and soul into, I can have no part of. It is truly a sad chapter in my life.

“Lucky” to be Called

I had to write a bio for my ordination tomorrow. I've been thinking a lot about my "calling" – the way God works in our lives and directs us. I thought you might enjoy it!

Dottie (Dorothy) Jean Dills (Cooper Hinesley) was born to Ralph and Radine Dills on January 3, 1958.

I have 2 sisters, Beth Romine and Lisa Neighbors.

I am married to Dean Hinesley and together we have 3 daughters: Jessa, Allie and Taylor.

I am being ordained at the urging and support of my husband and parents.

My earliest memory of "being called" was when I was about 8 years old. A missionary came to our church and I went with my mother to the evening service. In the early to mid 1960's, missionaries came and set a table of their goods – shrunken heads, tribal loin clothes, spears and the witch doctor's "former" evil potion. I was looking with amazement at the variety of things and the missionary spoke to me. I don't remember exactly what he said, but I know I hid my face in my mother's skirt and I cried. My memory of what he said is: Maybe, if you are very lucky, God will call you to be a missionary too. (I think I cried because I was terrified of leaving my parents for some terrible country where they shrunk heads.)

A seed was planted in my life that day. And I do feel "Lucky", that God in His Grace chose to call me.

As I grew, I reflect on that seed and I wondered if God would call me. As a child, the only great women I saw that were "called" were either church soloist or single female missionaries. From what I could tell there were no single male missionaries. I prayed that I would be able to sing. Just sing for Jesus! I thought I could handle that kind of call.

In fifth grade, I tried out for choir and I didn't make it, smashing all visions of Singing for Jesus. I wasn't sure about the missionary bit, leaving my mommy and daddy going to a shrinking heads foreign country thing.

Around that time, I had an incident. I was about 10 or 12 and I was running outside of our church with all the other kids and I ran full force into an awning support pole. I think it knocked me to the ground and I got up and ran in circles for a moment. At some point, in my young mind, this became my "near death experience" and I knew God had spared me for a reason. Perhaps, it was my pre-teen need for drama. It's funny, I never really talked about it, but it is a point that stuck in my mind.

After a short period of rebellion in high school, I became this dedicated Christian, want to reach my world for Christ, but don't have a clue how to do it. Some suggested that I pray for my class mates, so I did. Thru the student directory and thru the yearbook, I would pray for classmates by name. I would call my entire class and invite them to Campus Life meetings. I would turn in announcements and have them announce the Campus Life meetings.

I even created a brawl. I went to Clear Creek HS and our district rival was Clear Lake HS. Campus Life would kick off the school year with a burger bash and a snow brawl. I announced that there would be a Lake/Creek snowball fight.

We had never had so many kids out for burger bash before. I don't think the Campus Life director ever knew I did that. He was a little amazed at all the kids asking when the Lake/Creek snowball fight was going to be.

Because I had an amazing, life changing encounter with Jesus Christ at 16, I'm passionate about students and helping them live out their desire to be salt and light on their campus. I spent my high school years trying to make a difference, but not really having a clue how to do it.

Now, I have dedicated my life to helping students make a difference, hoping that they will have that same life altering encounter that I had with Jesus so many years ago.

I’m a networking disaster . . . but I still believe in networking!

I really am. I have stories you wouldn't believe.

I just read this great post by Rawd B. Jones. It is wonderful and I agree with all he wrote. He wrote The state of the Network address. FYI: He has written another great article – Networking sucks! Then I started thinking – why do I believe so whole heartedly in networking and what would I write about it.

I agree with Rawd, but my experiences have been totally different. And my experiences have been outstandingly bad.

First of all, I'm not a youth pastor. It's taken me a while to say this because my experiences so parallel a youth pastors. I've been a chaplain with juvenile delinquents. Very youth pastorish in kinda a locked up, no parents, no lock ins, no camp outs, events kind of way. I've run an on campus lunch time outreach ministry – very youth pastorish in that kinda weekly contact, weekly program sorta way.

Second of all, I'm a fiftyish very cool woman. Not exactly your classic youth pastor stereo type.

And lastly, I have been living and working in the same community for over 20 years. Not exactly, your typically longevity for your average youth pastor. (The average youth pastor last 14 months.)

Since I get to pick what I am, since no one else knows – I call myself a youth ministry specialist. I specialize in "Community Youth Ministry" and Youth Ministry in Schools and Juvenile institutions. An unusual specialty for your typical youth pastor.

But still, I am passionate about students and youth pastors and working together. I am convinced that if the student pastors have relationships with each other, it makes a community better for students. So, in this belief, I have coordinated a Youth Ministry Alliance for about 20 years.

My start in Networking: I started out with an evening meeting that included both full time and bi vocational youth pastors. I then went to a lunch time meeting that was primarily for full time youth pastors. I heard about networking at joint youth ministry conference in Atlanta in 1996. I thought that was a great idea. I've slept since then, but it wasn't a group of youth pastors that decided to do this. It was me. I got permission from the previous Pearland Youth Ministry Alliance to restart and use the name. All of them were out of youth ministry at that time, so there had been a group but they had all moved on. I understand that David Gentiles had been either instrumental in starting that group or keeping it going.

Anyways, back to the beginning. I restarted the PYMA. I was also participating in the Pearland Ministerial Alliance and would regularly announce the upcoming PYMA meetings at their meetings. Kind of an FYI thing.

The start was rough. I would call and fax every church in town. I usually called in the evenings because I found out it was just easier to leave it on the answering machine than it was to spell ALLIANCE for the secretary or to have her tell me that they didn't have any youth so no one wanted to come. I had one wonderful youth pastor that committed to be there every month so I never had to eat alone. So, it would be me and Doug Brown and someone else. And the next month, it would be me and Doug Brown and a different someone else. Finally, there must have been enough, that we planned a skate night at the local skating rink with a local Christian Radio personality. I will tell you that I remember enough to know that we needed 100 students to break even and we had maybe 103! We made $15!

My network is growing! The next PYMA meeting, there were 10 or 12 people at the table and I was running late, probably scrapping my jaw off the floor. I couldn't believe it!

If this sounds wonderful, brace yourself. Remember how I announced the PYMA meetings at the PMA meeting? Well, the Ministerial Alliance now decided that I had asked permission to start the PYMA, so that they were in charge of it. The PMA had no notes or minutes, so this was all "what do you remember, Bob?" When I protested that the PYMA need to be a separate group and that each Youth Pastor needed to be accountable to their own pastor, I was seen as hostile.

Maybe it was that $15 we made at the skate night . . .

Who is in charge here? Wait, it gets worst! Every participating youth pastor was told by their pastor that they could not participate in the PYMA, unless we were under the PMA. We went under the PMA. Within months, every youth pastor left town and before he or she left, came to me and said: "I did what I was told. I really think it would be better if the PYMA was independent of the PMA." Make sure you are getting this. They left town. They moved on. I was left with a network that was accountable to the senior pastor's group.

Each youth pastor group after this struggled with this. It looked like this: Churches A thru F were at the PMA table and Churches A, G, H, I, J and K were regulars at the PYMA table. I was the link that accounted for and defended the decisions of the PYMA table. Church B's pastor was most vocal about how it had to be this way: The PYMA rarely saw his youth pastor and PMA rarely saw him.

After several years of this insanity, the then PMA president said something about how he needed to put a minister in charge of the PYMA. Something inside of me broke. I thought you can't get a minister to serve as secretary, treasurer or vice president of the PMA and you are going to get one to come to and be in charge of the PYMA meetings? No words were spoken, I just stopped holding PYMA meetings. No one else did it either. I regularly called meetings in March or so to plan for See you at the Pole – usually a Saw you at the Pole.

Restarting the network. After a while – a year or 2, I started up the PYMA again. I made sure I didn't announce it at the PMA meetings. It was rough going. The startup always was rough. I remember what it was like to restart as a day time lunch meeting and I prayed for a Doug Brown to come and commit, so I didn't have to eat lunch alone.

I really wanted this to happen, so I started bring in local ministries and organizations to tell about their group at the meeting. This assured that I would not be there alone! I convinced churches to host meetings and provide lunch, so at least their youth pastor would be there. (Sometimes, lunch showed up, but the youth pastor didn't.) I kept going, being faithful at what I felt like God was leading me to do.

Growing again. Finally, a local putt-putt golf place hosted the meeting in 2009. We had 8 people, including the owner's youth pastor. There was finally a group that was starting to connect with each other. I was so excited! Churches were hosting meetings and a small steady group of small church youth pastors and directors were starting to come out.

Don't get too excited. It goes downhill quickly. One youth pastor went back to work full time, so he could no longer attend the lunch time meetings. Another youth pastor's senior pastor wouldn't let him come or would schedule staff retreats for that time. Another got too busy.

Finally, I got confronted by a group of angry youth pastors at a Baccalaureate lunch. They are angry because I arranged a meeting place and time and invited them to the meeting! They are angry because I invited them to help plan and organize a Saw you at the Pole event and when they didn't help, I did it and invited them to the event. They are angry because the PYMA meetings are on Thursday and they want them on Wednesday! No one had asked to change the meeting day.

I'm out of the network. We changed the meeting to Wednesdays. I lose most of the former attendees because Wednesdays doesn't work for them. I held one Wednesday meeting and then there is a meeting with the youth pastor that wants to be in charge of everything. I gave him leadership of the Pearland Youth Ministry Alliance. He never put me on the email invitation list. Within 3 months, I was no longer being invited to the meetings.

When I started a new network 6 months later, I was accused of being divisive! I just wanted to be part of a network in my community.

I'm really out. Another 3 months later, the network was now the Pearland Student Pastors Alliance – opened only to student pastors of churches and had put themselves in charge of all the community ministry I was doing.

Gosh, I love networking!

What is going on here?

I originally wrote this for my ministry letter, but decided not to send it. It a great basic summary of what has gone on. A sad summary.

As I go into a local Project Graduation Stuffing Party, looking over my shoulder, hiding behind columns and ducking into bathrooms – if necessary. My friend texts me: The coast is clear. I dash into the meeting, sit beside her and put labels on the envelopes and keep my head down.

Someone asks me what school clubs I am working with and I am afraid to answer, for fear he will tell other youth pastors and that they will eliminate from this as well.

I deliver 60 pieces of Starbucks pastries to a club and when I sign in, I look at who else has signed in, I realizing I am once again at risk for a confrontation at a school, during a club.

How did I get here? When did simple ministry of snacks and club support become a game of espionage? What is going on here? My whole world of ministry has been turned upside down.

Basically, my story is this. A local youth pastor – my supervisor calls him "Skippy" decided that he was going to take over everything I'm doing and run me out of town. He decided that I had the most powerful position in town. I laugh hilariously as I write this. I have nothing. I am nothing. I just tried to get churches and youth pastors to work together.

He held secret youth pastor meetings and secret Baccalaureate meetings. He spoke well of me in public and threaten me in private. He has a business background.

In part because of my fear and in part because I really wanted to work together, I gave him the leadership of the Pearland Youth Ministry Alliance, which I had coordinated and organized for about 20 years. He never included me in the official email list and within 3 months, he was not inviting me to meetings at all. When I started another network (after being excluded for 6 months) and included all youth ministry people, he screamed and complained about how divisive I was.

When we finally got everyone (the working Baccalaureate Committee and the secret meeting people) together working on Baccalaureate, Skippy was absent half and time and divisive when he was present.

James, my supervisor told me: Skippy isn't going to rest until he has leadership of Baccalaureate. I continued, organizing Baccalaureate monthly meetings all summer and all fall to help us be a team, believing that this was the best we could do for Baccalaureate, the community, the students and our team: that we needed time to become a team and share a vision.

During all this, I am steady finding clubs, developing club leadership and delivering day old Starbucks to clubs. At this point, I was deliver snacks and involved with 4 different clubs, which represented about 200 students each week.

In October, "Dora" my club ministry partner (whose main interests was getting snacks for clubs from local businesses) decided she was no longer with Cross in the City. I was communicating with her to help her determine what God was calling her to do and what our new relationship would be, when she involved her pastor. At that point, she would not longer talk to me unless my supervisor, James and her pastor were present. Her pastor decided that she had started the snack program, so she should take all the clubs. Because I did so much more than snacks, I could see that this was going to be a real loss for the clubs, the sponsors and the students.

James and I were trying to work out a time to meet with Dora and her pastor. That's when it happened. Skippy contacted Dora's pastor. James and I were called to a meeting on December 7 with Dora, Skippy and their respective pastors. The assumption was that the meeting would be about the club issues, but no one really knew and there was a broad spectrum of issues that could be involved.

I had a great team going into the meeting. I took six people with me. They asked extremely insightful questions and gave me valuable feedback. From what I could tell the main message was that the pastors wanted Baccalaureate back and they wanted Skippy to be in charge.

Frankly, they were ready to close in prayer and none of the club stuff with Dora had been addressed. It was immediately put under the care of Skippy. Then we closed in prayer. As Skippy was leaving, he hugged me and told me that he was "sorry he harbored hatred in his heart for me."

I got valuable feedback from my team. Most importantly, that I hadn't done anything wrong and that I didn't deserve the kind attack or treatment I had been subject to that night. The strong suggestion from the ministry professionals in the group was: Shake the dust from your feet.

After this meeting, James told me that Skippy would not rest until he had everything I was doing.

Within 3 weeks, Skippy and Dora were partners in the club thing and taking over one club. The PYMA became the Pearland Student Pastors Alliance and was only open to student pastors from churches. The PSPA had put themselves in charge of all PISD JH and HS clubs, Baccalaureate and See you at the Pole. Basically, my mission statement: I wish I'd had more vision to give them.

If you would like to read more about the drama and terror and what it has meant, it is on my blog: dottiedch.blogspot.com. There are also great stories about the clubs and what great kids they are! It isn't all bad news!

At the sponsor's request, I am still involved with one club I worked with Dora on. I found another thru the students of another club. I have met with a group of students at another school to help them start a club – they are still waiting on principal approval to start. And I have found still another junior high club thru a tip from a club sponsor. And I help a club in Pasadena. So, I am still involved with four clubs and waiting for the 5^th to start. I'm almost back up to working with about 200 students a week. I know I am trying to use my time wisely, but I am aware that I am in transition and I think God is moving me on. I also realized that God can do a miracle in Pearland and keep me here. I am praying for clear guidance and direction.

Because I believe the God who called me is faithful, I am believing that in the mist of such vicious hatred and exclusion, that God is good and He has my next position of service ready for me. In that belief, I am being ordained. I have never had my call to ministry publically recognized. January 18, 2011, I observed 30 years in ministry. It probably is important that I note that I do not feel called to be a pastor, I still feel called to student ministry in the community.

Affirming My Call

Celebrating 30 years in ministry

Saturday, March 5, 2011 2 pm

1320 Scott Pasadena, TX 77506

Worship Service and Ordination followed by a reception.

Please bring a finger food to share. Coffee and Tea will be provided.

Of course, Skippy and Dora are false names to conceal their identities.

Celebrating Baccalaureate – with the Baccalaureate team

When things end badly, sometimes you forget what you did well. And as a leadership team, we did a lot of things right. This past Saturday night, the Baccalaureate Leadership Team sat down and celebrated! This is what we celebrated!

What are we celebrating tonight?

We did 13 (2 in 2010) great Baccalaureate services that impacted the lives and families of about 1000+ students. (Our lowest attendance was 65 (2009) and our highest was 143.)

We started with a mundane, run of the mill Baccalaureate – Remember the pastors sat across the stage, the speaker was a noted dignitary, but not always student friendly, the program listed the churches and the senior pastors and the graduates' names in micro type.

Each year we fine tuned the service adding power point, worship, student testimonies, student led prayer, a prayer team.

We did a unique service for each graduating class, searching for unique students that had gifts that we could utilize in the Baccalaureate service, often without any input from students!

We involved at least 22 different churches and organizations in Baccalaureate. There are 21 on the reverse and I can come up with at least 2 more.

We added a reception in 2000 and gifts to the graduates in 200?. We went to the t-shirts in 2004 and the logo in 2003

We negotiated the issues with the Pearland Ministerial Alliance and PISD amazingly well.

We developed a priority for making decisions based on our values and what we thought was important to each class.

We came up with a committee structure that allow for all churches to be represented.

When faced with opposition from the youth pastors, we choose to work together and to be inclusive and inviting, adapting to their issues.

Thank you for your Faithful Service!

Afraid and Confused

I've worked with a club sponsor for a long time – about 5 years. She is a great lady and a real asset to the spiritual life of her campus. If there is anyone that a living, breathing, Christian Light on her campus, it is this lady. Not only does she sponsor the students' on campus Christian Club, she leads a weekly prayer meeting for the teachers and staff.

In all the mess and drama that my life and ministry has become, she has stood with me. I think she loved me and appreciated me. I think she realized that she got great services from me – that I was faithful and dependable. I think she saw into my heart and saw that I was good and kind and helpful. A kindred spirit, a partner, a helper, a servant. All though, part of me was afraid she just was going for the underdog: me!

At the suggestion of my supervisor, I made a list of everything I did for the club and for her as the sponsor.

This is an abbreviated list.

Make things as easy and possible for the club sponsor

Be her point person

Attend every club and leadership meeting

Be in charge of meetings if the sponsor cannot be there.

Coordinate snacks

Pick up after club

Coordinate all volunteers

Oversee, train and organize all volunteers

Put away supplies

Look for prayer request. Pull out and make copies if necessary

Research topics, ideas, supplies

Count students and keep records

Write curriculum if necessary

Contact youth pastor speakers and make initial arrangements

Remind youth pastors speakers and forward confirmation to the sponsor

Pray for club sponsor and the club

She wanted me to keep doing all I do, but she did not want to acknowledge to any one that I did this. She was afraid that the student pastor that has placed himself over clubs would pull my on campus badge because I am helping her. She was afraid that if she acknowledged what I did, we would both be seen as being hostile. She has told him that she wanted to stay with me, but he continues to call her and offer to book her speakers and continues to want a list of who she is having to speak. She feels like she has to give him the information.

At first, I was irritated. Then I realized: she was afraid. She is afraid of losing her job. She is afraid of the student pastor that has placed himself over the clubs. She is afraid of losing my help and support. She is afraid that she will not be able to replace me with a teacher co-sponsor. She is afraid if she loses her job, the club will stop. She is afraid that if she chooses me, she will lose out on being a part of something else. She is afraid that her simple right of letting the student leaders choosing and inviting her own speakers will be taken over by said student pastor. She is afraid that she will not have the help and support she has come to depend on. She is afraid of losing her snack support. She is frustrated that the TEAM she had come to count on is no longer a team and worst than that, such confusion and competition has set in – who knows who to trust?

It is a slow process, but then I realize I am afraid too. I'm not mad or irritated any more. I am afraid of said student pastor. He has already threatened me. I am afraid of losing my place of service – my ministry – the service I perform for God. I am afraid of shame and embarrassment. I am afraid of speaking up and of not speaking up. Part of me wants to run and hide and the other part wants to stand and fight. I am afraid that I will not be able to be there for the club sponsor I so dearly love and have come to treasure and respect. I am sick about my relationship with my former snack partner – I can't believe that things can break down to this point.

I am sick to have any part in what makes my sponsor friend feel afraid and confused. I've offered to leave and she doesn't want that. Without communication, there is no restoring the relationships or the broken trust with the snack person and the youth pastor. Part of me wants to run and hid and part wants to stand up and fight the wrong and injustice I see. In many ways, I think the sponsor and I would just like to be left alone, but that request has not been honored so far, so the chaos and drama continues.

It seems like serving Christ should invoke a certain amount of fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. But she and I are afraid mainly of people within the church – who should be affirming what we are doing but instead are trying to compete for control of it. We should be worried about whether we have enough drinks for the club next week, but instead we are afraid that a certain youth pastor or a certain snack person will try to close us down.

What is going on in a community where the Church is attacking itself?

Affirming My Call

Affirming My Call

Celebrating 30 years in ministry

Saturday, March 5, 2011 2 pm

1320 Scott Pasadena, TX 77506

Worship Service and Ordination followed by a reception.

Please bring a finger food to share. Coffee and Tea will be provided

Celebrating Baccalaureate

I started chairing Baccalaureate in 1998 and I did my first service in 1999. I was appointed by the then president of the Pearland Ministerial Alliance. My first service was wonderful and after the service, no one wanted to go home. People stood in the commons and visited. The Graduates formed a huge "99" and the parents ran to the second floor to take pictures of it.

The next year (2000), I decided that we needed a reception – since people wanted to stand around and visit. Vicki Frame, a friend advised me on how this should happen. Provide the table clothes and use plastic so that they all match. Vicki took charge of the reception that year and she deserves all the credit for it. She did a great job

For 2001, someone asked me what my idea of a perfect Baccalaureate was and I said a reception and giving a gift to the graduates. We handed a graduation key fob to the graduates. It was our first year to have Dave Edwards speak and he did a wonderful job for many graduates and their siblings. I know this because when I play a video of the service or when I showed seniors his picture, many would say – he spoke at my brother's (or sister's) Baccalaureate – he's hilarious!

In 2002, we ask a local graphic and layout artist to design a logo for Baccalaureate. By this time, we realized that we needed a catch phrase to describe Baccalaureate. We came up with "The blessing of the graduates." John Gilmore was wonderful to work with and a blessing to Baccalaureate.

In 2003, we started passing out a t-shirts to the graduates as a gift for attending the service. John Gilmore also laid out our t-shirts and the programs.

2004 to 2005 were years of small changes and constant turmoil with the Pearland Ministerial Alliance. I felt a kinship and a responsibility to the PMA and they always seem to feel like I was acting independent of them. I felt they were family and they seem to regard me as an untrustworthy outsider. The attendance at their meeting was irregular and there were no minutes, so no one (but me) could keep up with the decisions regarding Baccalaureate.

In 2006, our relationship with the school radically changed. We received a list of "suggestions" from administration, including that the service be shortened to 1 hour or less. We were no longer allowed to pass out Baccalaureate information on Campus. We started anticipating our need for 2 services Pearland and Dawson in 2010. I was greeted with high fives at the end of the 2006 service – I had come in at 59 minutes and 23 seconds. I didn't know the service was being timed!

In 2008, Warrick Baker was our first local speaker. The PMA disbanded in November 2008, leaving me and Baccalaureate without an accountability group. I decided that Baccalaureate was important to continue. The Committee supported this decision.

Tom Allen was our speaker in 2009. Tom asked me why I was continuing Baccalaureate. I told him I figured I could either continue it or drop it. He looked at me and said: It's good that you are continuing it. PISD would never let it start again. Tom was a former school board member.

The lost of the PMA affected Baccalaureate deeply. There was no longer a central reporting to a group or time. The progress as far as the churches and attendance was dimensioning. It was difficult to get the word out. I continue to operate as I was accountable to the PMA and considered their input when we made decisions.

January 2010, I was bombarded by youth pastors who felt like I was excluding them from Baccalaureate! I felt like I was begging people to participate – what a strange turn of events. By February, their program, their speaker were all decided. The only thing that we didn't go with was t-shirts for the service - we stayed with cap & gown. By March, the youth pastors were ready to be done with Mike, Vicki and II – the experienced committee members. I had always worked in cooperation for Baccalaureate, but some of the team was now down right hostile. By the day of the services in May, I think they saw that Mike, Vicki and I brought something valuable to the table. I don't think any of them want to take charge of the reception, setting up the school or picking up the t-shirts or pass them out.

During December 2010, I sat down with a group of pastors, youth pastors and several others. The bottom line was the pastors wanted Baccalaureate back and they wanted the chief hostile youth pastor to be in charge of it. He graciously let me know that the youth pastors were eager for me to serve them and I was welcome to be involved. . .

This chapter in my life – and it was a huge chapter is now closed. I still think 13 Baccalaureates is worth celebrating.

Berry Miller – Salt and Light

I Love being a part of on Campus Christian Clubs! This morning was no exception.

You must understand that it is very difficult to find the clubs. That is challenge number one. Christian Clubs are a political hot button for a public school, so in general, they don't want to acknowledge that they exist. Usually, you just can't call and ask. It usually isn't on the website. The second challenge is to successfully make contact with the either the students or the club sponsor in such a way that you can be allowed to help with the club. (Not intrude or take over, but genuinely assist – Serve and help carry the load.)

Two weeks ago, I successfully found and contacted a Christian Club sponsor. (Insider tips are my best information! The Sponsor of an existing club told me that she heard about this club – Thank you, Sue!) I offered to bring snacks and pick up afterwards. The sponsor was very excited to get such an offer.

So, this morning, I brought snacks. I have left over starbucks pastries, but on Tuesday, Billy and Linda offered me some pretty Valentine cupcakes! Three Dozen – I thought that would be plenty. I emailed to ask the sponsor. He said normally, they have 40 to 50! Wow! I took the cupcakes, but I added 10 pieces of Starbucks.

Enough about how God opened the door! The club: It was an amazing club. They mingled and ate cupcakes to start with. The sponsor opened with a beautiful prayer. Then, the kids broke up into 2 groups – one group of mainly boys (3 girls) and one of all girls. Two different boys addressed the boys, one after another. The 2^nd boy told the boys this was just for boys, so the three girls got up and joined the girls. A girl spoke to the girls. All the speakers I heard were excellent. Both referred to their favorite verses. Both spoke confidently. It is hard to listen to two different speakers at once! But I was trying.

I also watched random acts of kindness: a girl crossing the gym for a paper towel to give someone else. A boy, leaving his cupcake on his books in the gym and returning with 2 or 3 friends (all girls!), picking up his books and cupcake and joining the boys group. I had wondered about that cupcake sitting on those books. Several students thanked me for the snacks.

I spoke to the club sponsor and he said that they rotate the speaking. The students decide who is doing what next. I told him I would bring snacks next week. I told him I could get him a youth pastor speaker, but that it seemed like they had a format that was working and I hate to disrupt that. He agreed.

I counted students: 35 girls and 28 boys.

I want you to be encouraged: In a world where you hear about young criminals and terrible crimes, there is hope! There are 63 students being Salt and Light at Berry Miller Junior High.

New Opportunities!

I am amazed at the NEW OPPORTUNITIES God is bringing my way! What Satan intended for evil, God is using for my Good!

New Clubs! New Ministries Opportunities!

Praising God!

More Later! Keep Praying!

Dottie